brighton brothers

The Cochlear Implant

2011-12-20T19:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I guess I haven't been very inspired around these blog parts lately. Well I guess since August. Now I don't even know where to start? I think I might be ready to turn this blog into that book I have been talking about and then close this site. I started this to document those moments and milestones that I was too busy to enjoy. Now I am ready to go back and read it, remember it all, and see how far we all have come. Especially Collin!

In the hospital, waiting for surgery.

Speaking of Collin... I think most everyone knows that he got his Cochlear Implant on November 16th. It's been a bit of a journey since that first consultation back in the spring. The constant WAITING until the next appointment and potential news was very trying on my patience! I didn't think I needed to work on being a more patient person, I guess I was wrong. Who knew? Anyhow, all the patience paid off! (like I had a choice, haha)

Getting ready for surgery, one of his great nurses.

Surgery went well, it was a long day which included a lot of waiting (especially for him to wake up). But he bounced back real quick and within about three days he was totally back to himself. Prior to his surgery we watched You Tube videos of kids who got Cochlears and he was pretty darn excited about his big band aid. That lasted all of about umm...zero minutes, and it was off before he was even out of the recovery room. He really was trooper though, didn't touch it, kept it protected and loved to look at the stitches.

In recovery, notice Batman was along for the ride.

Finally home and awake for a brief moment.

Three days out. Ear still a bit swollen. Carson thought he should be an elf for next halloween!

Thanksgiving came and went, at least that's what it felt like while we sat in the ER because he ripped open a number of the stitches. Yup, leave it to Collin. The surgeon told me that in all of his 1000+ surgeries that he has performed, he can count the times that the patient has had to return to the hospital. On one hand... Of course we had to be one them right??? Collin wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyhow, this is going to be a super LONG story if I try to explain every detail. So I will fast forward to activation day, which went great. The implant worked just like it was suppose to, every electrode is connected to tissue and is making contact. (I guess sometimes, not all electrodes are fully functioning) So that is great news. Right now his testing consists of electricity, weird I know, and he basically hears beeps connected directly from the computer into his external processor and then into his brain. Regardless of WHAT he heard, it was pretty darn exciting that he heard anything, and we were on cloud nine.

Activation day, getting the external piece on.

Cool how it just 'sticks' there

"I heard that"

So excited that he heard the beep.

A few days later we had another appointment and we got it turned up some and got more information and details about everything. The good news is that he was right where he should have been for three days post activation, still hearing the beeps and tolerating all the noise and increased sound level. The 'unknown' and scary part is that we don't know when, if or how much he will comprehend that noise and turn it into useable sounds. Our specialist explained to us that it is like wearing a cast on one arm for five years then taking it off and expecting it to work like the other arm. Not going to happen, it is going to take a lot of work, therapy, strengthening, etc. You get the idea. Same with Collin's brain. So here we are... I refuse to think that this was all for nothing and I am excited about how this is going to change his life. He already is making progress and between his teachers and us, we are working, working, working. I feel blessed to have his team on our side, I know that this kid can do it!

That about sums it up and I hope I explained it clearly. It is very very exciting and I think it looks so darn cute, but the honest side of me is very nervous, we don't know the final outcome and we may not for a very long time. So more waiting... and as I practice my patience I will just try to focus on peace.

Thanks Ace...

2011-08-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

"all horses deserve, at least once in their life to be loved by a little girl"

Ace went to his new owners on friday and I can't seem to find the words right now to describe what kind of horse he is. To say he is amazing seems like an understatement. I can honestly say I have seen miracles happen with him. He has touched lives in a HUGE way. Including mine. He has taught me patience, persistence and how to communicate effectively, in a more gentle way. Even when he is frustrated, he waits for clear communication before he continues. He forgives without holding a grudge and loves wholly. When you have his heart, he will do anything to make you happy.

Together we have had to work hard to build a relationship of trust and confidence. There are times he has looked at me and I swear he asked "are you sure you want me to do this???" and there have been more times than not that I have had to trust his instinct and believe him if a rider isn't ready and usually he was right.

"horses lend us the wings we lack"

I believe all horses have a purpose... but Ace's purpose is bigger than most and as you can see he is loved by a lot of little girls (and a few big girls too). Though it was hard to say goodbye, it is comforting to know he will bless his new family and continue to fulfill his purpose.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above... James 1:17

Cochlear update and adventure

2011-07-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,

It is taking me a few days to gather my thoughts and try and write about our first visit to OHSU for Collin's initial consultation at the Cochlear Implant clinic.

First things first... it was an adventure. I often joke about how I try not to leave our town of Silverton and boy oh boy that sure rang true as I loaded up the tahoe with Nana, Papa, two boys, the camera and numerous other things that I thought I needed. I tried my very best to wear my 'town' clothes and look hip as we headed to P-Town. But it was very obvious as I pulled into the parking lot that I sure don't belong anywhere else but Silverton. It probably didn't help that our tahoe is rattling, squealing and in need of a good wash. Oh and every other vehicle in the parking lot was compact, a hybrid or an enviromently friendly bicycle. (Seriously they had a HUGE parking lot just for bikes)

I guess none of that is important, except it was just the first funny thing that happened on this important day that I thought was going to go perfectly. Upon squeezing into a very compact parking spot we all had to pile out of one door so we wouldn't hit the nice hybrid next to us, Collin starts yelling his hearing aid is "not working". WHAT??? So as Nana and Papa are literally chasing two boys who also don't get out of Silverton much, I am trying to figure out what is wrong with the hearing aid. The hearing aid that he is now not wearing and is yelling and can't hear anyone! And he was right, it is not working because the battery is dead!!!! OK Seriously??? What mother does not put a new battery in the day she is taking her son to a HEARING doctor? I was so embarrassed.

Before we actually made it up to the clinic however, we had to find the tram that takes you from the parking lot to the hospital. I thought this would be a great idea to make it more fun for Carson who probably would have rathered been sleeping. Once we finally found the tram and I looked up and saw how high we had to go, I wasn't sure I could do it. I started having flash backs to the Ferris Wheel at California Adventure and my skin started itching. I had no choice though we had 20 minutes to get to the hospital, find the clinic, get checked in and find a darn battery. Who's bright idea was it to ride the tram?

Nana, Papa, and Carson waiting for the Tram to go up, Collin didn't want to be in the picture.

Well fast forward... we got checked in and of course they had a battery, heck they had a whole drawer full and any they even asked what size I needed. Obviously I wasn't the first.

So, I have to admit that this appointment didn't go as I expected or hoped but we have a plan and we are praying for the best possible scenario. So to summarize.... Collin's left ear which is his good ear, seems to be worse off than we thought. Chris and I have felt for a while that is was getting worse, or something was wrong but we didn't push it. So big lesson here! Be proactive and push when it involves your kids.

As far as the right ear goes we are praying that Collin's cochlea and auditory nerve are fine!!! If that is the case we can put a cochlear implant on it and the would be GREAT news. However, there is a chance they may have atrophied and technically can't house an implant and that would be bad news. The doctors seem excited, yet realistic about Collin's situation and they were very honest about his progress and growth which is NOT where is they hoped. So as hard as that was to hear I feel excited about our new challenge and I feel like I have a new mission. (Sounds good huh, I admit it, I cried)

So that is a brief summary of the 2 and 1/2 hour appointment. I am trying to be calm in my heart, though it isn't coming easy, we are hopeful and excited about the possibilities.

We were also reminded yesterday what our real purpose is and that really changed our perspective, so as much as I need to focus on Collin's progress, growth, speech, etc, etc. It is more important to me that both boys know what their PURPOSE is and that doesn't need a cochlear.

Getting ready for the tram ride down. Doesn't look like those cables are very strong huh?

Oh and the rest of our day continued to be an adventure, the tram ride down was much better than up, but trying to find our way back to Silverton from that darn parking lot was not! We did manage to find our way to Bridgeport Village for lunch though and I even used the valet parking for my squealing, rattling, very dirty Tahoe! You should have seen the look on that guys face!!! HAHA.

Weekend in review

2011-07-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

So last week my boys spent the whole week with Grandma (ok it was only 4 nights, but it felt like a WHOLE week) You would have thought I got a lot done. Projects, phone calls, house clean (well that was done), lots of coffee consumed (well that was done too) Anyhow, I didn't get much done at all in fact I felt completely lost without my boys in the house. I tried not to be here! But that didn't work out so well and to top it all off, my husband had to work overtime so he wasn't here.

Needless to say I was lonely so once they got home I couldn't stop taking their pictures and I am so thankful for Sara's party so I have such a good excuse to put more pics up.

I will say that they had such a great time with Grandma, but personally I am glad they are home, in fact when I woke up to one on the floor and one next to me this morning I smiled!!!!

Hiking with Grandma in some caves.

Carson working on his shooting skills with Grandpa Bob.

Celebrating Baby Riley's 3rd birthday. Iron man style of course.

Uncle Kevin's slip and slide. (Riley's gloves got wet... poor buddy)

Fun in the pool.

So handsome.

So crazy.

Sweet Lucy and Brobee all cozied up!

teaching Lucy (and Brobee) how to play tag.

How cute are they???

So we had a fabulous weekend!!!! and I hope my boys are sleeping on my floor tomorrow!

Fourth of July Fun!

2011-07-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

Every fourth of July we go to Grandma's and she lives here.

View from the lake, from the back of the boat.

We spent a lot of time in the water, well I should rephrase that, the BOYS spent a lot of time in the water. A ~~wee~~ lot toooo cold for this MomMom.

it's really not cold!!!

We decided we wanted a mohawk like our cousin Tyler. Oy Vey, I am not looking forward to teenagers! Girlies, let me warn you now... This is one overprotective Mama!

I know I say this a lot... But isn't he handsome????

Dad did a bit of mechanic work with Grandpa Bob.

Looking Good Big Daddy!!!!

We hunted worms for fishing, poor Collin was disappointed that he couldn't take them to bed or keep them as pets.

Tried to do a bit of fishing, a bit tricky when the fish are only an inch long though.

And of course it wouldn't be the Fourth of July without the parade... "
Hey Mom look at this guy!"

Now that is patriotism!

What do you think of that Mohawk Carson????

We of course had a great time, the only bummer is we left our kids there (bummer for us, they will have a great time)! They are spending the week with Grandma and I am not quite sure what I am going to do with out them, I have never been away from them this long.... Chris keeps telling me to get off the computer and stop looking at their pictures!

Happy 4th of July!!!!

A little late for Sara's party, but we just got home.

Healthy Donuts, well sort of healthy

2011-06-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

I have been on a hunt for a long time and I about squealed out loud when I saw this at Target for just $24.99

I didn't even want to take it out of the pretty box.

Isn't it awesome???

Can you believe that? $24.99!!! Let me tell you that it is the best gadget I have ever bought. That is saying something. I pretty much buy most of the 'as seen on tv' gadgets.

Are these not the cutest little morsels ever???? Each batch I have made makes about 28 mini donuts and they are pretty much gone in about 28 minutes! They are a big hit. I think everyone should have one of these donut makers!

What a snap!

So as you can see we are a bit obsessed with donuts around here, my boys that is. Well I guess I am obsessed too, but I am crazy trying to find a healthier version of them. I think I have come up with one and I couldn't even get a picture of the boys eating them because by the time I got my camera out they were gone!

Here is one of the recipes we have tried.

1 1/2 cup Whole Wheat pastry flour

1/3 cup Sugar (I use xylitol, we are avoiding sugar)

1 TBSP Baking Powder

1/2 tsp Salt

1/2 cup Milk (I use skim, save any calories we can)

1/4 cup Oil (I use Olive oil or coconut)

1/4 cup Sour Cream (I use Greek Yogurt, why not add some protein)

1 Egg (I use only the whites, again save some calories where you can)

1 tsp Vanilla (or a few splashes for flavor)

These would work well in a mini muffin pan too or if you have a donut or mini bunt pans. We sprinkle powdered sugar on top or I have mixed in coconut flakes and mini chocolate chips, and those the boys love.

You want it to be fairly smooth.

And this mess turns into...

THESE, Oh boy I can't believe how cute they are!

Seriously, this was toooo easy.

So this has become our tuesday morning tradition, I know it isn't much but with me working, I am trying to do something special in the mornings before I go, and this has been super awesome, Oh and yummy!

We have a few ideas for other recipes, stay tuned.

Hope you try them!!!!

See more recipes here.

Summer... Finally

2011-06-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

Well we are finally getting some warm weather here in the Pacific Northwest. That may be negotiable to some of you in other states, but for us Oregonians we are living it up when it is a whopping 72 degrees.

I just talk to my parents who are vacationing in Scottsdale, AZ. and they are sitting in the shade at 110!!! Whoa, I think all of us here in Oregon might melt if we were exposed to that!

Like I said it was about 70 degrees here today and slightly overcast but my boys didn't waste an opportunity to play in the sprinkler. Their lips did turn blue after about 45 minutes but it sure was fun. And I sure didn't waste the opportunity to take some cute pics of them and practice with my new camera.

Oh boy, this kid is so handsome!

Oh a bit chilly!!!!

Not sure why we have a bandaid on our head, but it has survived two tub times and two sprinkler events!

Oh how I love Summertime!!!!

So cool!

Hmmmmmm, what are you doing Carson?!?!?!?!

Well he seems to like it!

Probably the last time I will see them holding hands, love it.

Well that is what we did this fabulous sunday, what did you do?

I am excited that Sara over at Sweet Little Gals is having this link party.

It's a party all about favorite photos, what a perfect excuse to do another post about my funny boys! Like I need an excuse though? Thanks Sara.

Have a great day!!!!

Maybe a Cochlear for Collin

2011-06-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

Howdy,

I have been working on this post for a few weeks now and I have deleted it and rewritten it I don't know how many times. I fear sharing this because I may have to go and unshare it later and if that happens I will probably be a puddle of tears and I really hate people seeing me in that state! It isn't pretty!

Regardless of my fears, this little super hero faces any challenge with NO fear and yes this is how we roll shopping,
and even Church if I let him!

Anyhow, July 19th we are taking Collin up to OHSU to meet with doctors and see if we can get a Cochlear Implant for Collin's right ear. We all have been pretty frustrated around here the last few months, Collin especially seems to be more frustrated as we are always yelling and he is always saying 'what?'. Then my little heart breaks when he is beyond frustrated and quietly says 'neber nind' (never mind).

The really exciting part of all this is... it is a GREAT thing he is frustrated because that means he knows he is missing out on conversation, he knows that he needs to understand in order to connect and that is huge. Earlier he would disengage emotionally and then physically go off to to do his own thing and that scared us. So although we are in a new phase of his life which is exhausting, we are so pleased with how much growth he is making in his language, even though I have to talk allllll day long (that must sound really funny coming from me... ME being frustrated because I have to talk too much, when I usually can't shut up, HA.)

See even Collin is so exhausted at the end of the day!

So why did I decide to finally write about this??? Well I guess we are hoping for your prayers, it seems I am having a hard time communicating this situation with God right now. I end up just begging or (shockingly to all of you) I am speechless. Also, even if the doctors say yes, it is a big decision. I mean I don't really want anyone drilling into my baby's head! Also, they could say no, and tell us his one hearing aid is good enough. They also may find his cochlea isn't physically able to house an implant etc, etc, etc. You get the picture. So you can see why I am not sure how to pray for this, maybe you will find the words for me!

I am not sure what Collin is looking at here, but I am going to take his cue and just give this up to God trust that HIS will will be done. Thanks for your prayers.

Fridays are my favorite days!

2011-06-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, Friday is really truly one of my most favorite days, but not because of the reasons you may think...

I have a new(ish) friend, and we have lots and lots and lots of fun together. We don't really go anywhere or get dressed up, or eat lunch out, or go out for coffee, (mind you, we do share a good seltzer water together at the end of the night) .
This is my friend Jen, she and her daughter Korina come out and ride on fridays and I don't know who looks forward to it more, me or them?

Jen and Lexus

Anyhow, this has become a very special friend to me, we laugh reallllllly hard, we talk about real things like current events, natural disasters and then we laugh some more. Oh, plus I should tell you that she is going to be famous. "What for?" you ask. Well... I am proud to tell you she and Korina are our state champions and heading to Kentucky to represent good ol' Oregon in the national tournament for.... wait for it.... BOWLING!!!

Oh and she has the coolest socks ever!

told you she has cool socks

One day a few weeks ago she tried to sneak up on me in her very inconspicuous YELLOW car, and leave something on my door step. But I caught her and this is what she left me.

So cute!!!

they are called Sock it to me

she got them at our local, super awesome, gift shop called Pomegranate, read about them here.

see how cute they are on?

Yup we all love them!

Are they not the best, most fun socks ever??? I wear them everyday, no joke, I just love them, and to be honest when she zoomed away in her little yellow car, I did get a bit choked up. Don't tell her that though she'll make fun of me for crying over socks. But it was such a surprising, thoughtful gift, it really meant a lot!

So to highlight....

1. Having cool socks is just the best way to start your friday or any day really. (which pair should I wear today?)

2. I always get to laugh on fridays, how fun is that?

3. I get to smell the horses on fridays (well I get to do that everyday, but they smell better on fridays)

4. Spending time with Jen is the best way to end the week!

5. She has a couple really cool kids too, and Korina loped for the first time last friday and that not only made friday fun, it made it 'cry tears of joy', fun!

Yup this kid is amazing!

Well happy friday, and I hope yours is as fun as ours is! Don't forget to wear your favorite socks, trust me it really makes your day better.

PS. I should add that her husband is also a super hero, for real! read about it here. I know!!!! this family is amazing.

Linking to Little Lucy Lu, see you there!

Bec and Mick's big adventure...and Bloggy Boot camp too!

2011-06-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

So Bec and I had a great adventure this weekend! We had our first 'sleepover' since we have both had kids. You'd think we would have got a full nights sleep without our munchkins waking us up all night but that sure didn't happen. Probably due to the fact that we hadn't had a sleepover in over nine years!!!!

Friday afternoon we packed up the Blue Rocket/Bullet/Beauty, yes we were lucky enough to use my husbands lovely work car for our trip! Thankfully it didn't squeal or squeak all the way there (well we did have a bit of squeaking).

nice car huh?

Anyhow, we were on our way to Seattle for a blogging conference called 'Bloggy Bootcamp' and we sure had a great time GETTING there! First, we had to chat about all the things we hadn't chatted about earlier in the day. We have never really had a moment of silence in our relationship, even if only a few hours pass since our last visit!

Then we of course had to stop and eat, another area of our relationship we both share the same love for.

Bec managed to find us an amazing restaurant in Olympia, WA. called Anthony's Hearthfire Grill. It was amazing, fun and the food was awesome. Let me just say the bread...ummmmm, well there are no words that can describe how yummy it was.

this is just the salad and bread, I was too engrossed in the main course to take a pic. Yummy huh?

Bec in front of our restaurant, how lucky were we?

Well after we were stuffed to the gills, we managed to find our way to the hotel by the airport where the conference was being held (good thing Bec actually wrote the directions down... I didn't think it would be too difficult to find the airport, but I was mistaken). Anyhow, we made it and got all checked and had a yummy cookie and we did actually get some sleep (if you could call it that), our alarms went off promptly at 6:15 with frogs chirping and ducks quacking. Thanks IPhone, it made us feel more at home!

At the end of our day at BBC with our new, very funny friend, Denise

Soooo Bloggy Boot camp..... It would be a very long post if I wrote about everything that we experienced (one tip I learned... make your posts quick and under 1200 words, ha ha not my strong suit) Anyhow, I will just try and highlight the things that really resonated in me.

I will admit to feeling very overwhelmed and there was a moment (or two or three) when I felt like my little blog and I were in the wrong place! But, the one thing that seemed to be said over and over was 'be you', 'remember why you are doing this', 'love what you are doing', etc. That really made me think, not just here in Blogland but in real LIFE. Since I have started working a few months back I have struggle with who I am... working mom, stay at home mom, cool mom, fun mom, Mick, Lesley, crafty mom... you get the idea. Kind of an identity crisis. One of the speakers, Sheila Tan from Invisalign, shared her inspiring, motivating and amazing presentation all based around what her mom told her when she was a little girl 'you can be whatever you want to be'. So be me!!!! That's all there is to it... Why didn't I think of that? Ha ha, that is easy, no one has to ever worry about fitting in someone else's box, we all have our own. How relieving is that?!?!?! Anyhow, I can do that.... Be myself, here in my tiny corner of blog land and in real life!

So there you go, our weekend in a nutshell (or a really long blog post that I shouldn't have done, whoops, please don't tell the blog police!)

He is Risen Indeed

2011-04-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays, my mom always made it special and I have tried to continue that tradition and add some new ones for my kids. My favorite Easter memory was 9 years ago and we brought our new baby Carson home on Easter Sunday! He was born on a beautiful sunny Good Friday Morning and we celebrated his new life on the day we celebrate that Christ is Risen!

I have believed in the true Easter message for such a long time and let me tell you I am so thankful for God's GRACE. I would not have done well with the law, way too many rules and regulations for me. I would have made such a mess of them, mixed them up, and probably try to rewrite them according to my standards and that would not have been pretty. So I have clung to 'for by grace you have been saved...' for a long time. I know that as believers our end result is to be reunited with our Savior in all His glory. I know that we should be that 'light' in the world of darkness, and I know I am loved by Him unconditionally. However.... I have never fully grasped the depth of that Grace until this Easter weekend. When I pictured Heavens gates open wide for Dale to be welcomed and come face to face with the Lord he served selflessly, I was overwhelmed with the true meaning of what Christ did on the cross for us. Dale had that figured out and because of the cross he lived his life with passion and conviction no matter the situation. I have to admit I kind of wish I was there in that moment when our Lord said to him 'well done, good and faithful son'!

So this Easter as we made special memories as a family, doing normal things, the real meaning of Easter seems bigger, yes I so look forward to being in heaven because of God's grace, but will I hear 'well done'?

We had a special easter this year, hope you did too!

WHAT'S up Wednesday!!!!

2011-04-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Wednesday! I think Wednesdays might be turning into my favorite day around here! And this Wednesday I need a pic me up for sure!

So, here is a little story and probably too much info about me, but oh well. We have a little pond and one day I woke up and there were three ducks swimming around in there. I immediately ran out with some bread to feed them and yup you guessed it, they flew away! I was so disappointed (and Chris just watched from the window laughing). Well this happened for days... I was getting so frustrated. Finally one day I was able to sneak up on them, real stealth like and they didn't fly away. I managed to feed one (mind you, I think I may have choked him on my grainy, seed filled, whole wheat, healthy bread because he hasn't been back) Anyhow, the other two have been back and I love them!

Cute Huh?

This one is a bit shy.

Taking a bath.

So fun!

Boys feeding them,
(I did have to remind the to throw it near them not at them... boys!)

This is Carson doing a duck call.
(not too sure it sounds like a duck, but he was so proud I couldn't tell him)

So those are my pets, cute huh? One day I am going to hold them! Just you wait!

HAPPY WEDNESDAY

What's up Wednesday!!!!

2011-04-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so it is wednesday or hump day as some would call it! I need a pic me up, a good laugh or encouragement!

So I found my sweet little guy being ever sooooo quiet. (some may think that is normal for a kid that is hard of hearing) but that statement couldn't be farther from the truth!!!! We are one of the loudest families I know! Especially him. So this is a rare moment in the Brighton House.

Innocent huh?

"Whatcha doing Buddy?"

"Oh just playing my DS."

Hmmm, except you are in your brother's room and that is your brothers DSi!

Sneaky little guy. (but man is he cute!)

Happy Wednesday everyone.

Joining the party!

2011-04-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

So I totally want to join this party!!!

I have written and rewritten this post three times. Each time it is easy for me to go on and on and on and on about my husband and boys, but then I read it and wonder if that is really what people want to hear??? But this blog is my way of 'scrapbooking' so I guess that is ok.

I struggle with talking about myself and things regarding ME. But I feel like I am telling this story about my family on this blog so I need to share a little about me.

Sooooo let me try again... I am a small town country girl. I would spend my days locked in a barn if I could (and if it was at least 70 degrees, still a bit cold here in Oregon). I love my horse and Bec's horses more than I can say! I love to clean stalls, brush them, smell them, and smell them some more (oh ya, and ride them). I love seeing how our horses can change kid's lives! I remember when I was a young pre-teen, my dad had left and we had to move to 'town' and board our horses. It was a very difficult time, yet my mom and I found healing just cleaning stalls and brushing our horses. I loved those times with my mom, it seemed like once we were at the barn and around the animals, I was able to warm up and really talk to my mom about all that was happening and I KNOW that horses saved me during those years. I promised God that I would give back to kids if He gave me an opportunity. And He has... it is has been such a blessing to live my dream with a handful of students that God has blessed me with!

Me and my cute horse Lexus (do you like the pink bow and polka dot blanket?
It is the only thing pink in my life)

One of our sweet horses Ace and one of the little girls whose life he
has changed in BIG ways.

I am also a runner, I started running about 20 years ago and I LOVE it, no matter what my day brings, good or bad a run is the best beginning or end. It is an amazing feeling to run 13 miles, and that is all I can say about that. (I was going to add and still be able to walk... but that is usually questionable).

Me and my hubby at our first race together,
you can read about that if you scroll down

My biggest accomplishment is that I am a wife and Mother, to be honest I never really thought I would ever feel what I feel to parent these two boys. I have learned more in the last 9 years that I have the rest of my life! Being a parent is nothing like I ever imagined. I wasn't one of those girls that thought about her wedding or named my kids in while still in high school. I assumed I would get married and have kids but was too busy with my life and horses that I didn't give it much thought. So when it happened to me I was completely OVERWHELMED with emotion. To say I love them seems trivial, and not quite enough!

Do you feel like that?

My sweet Carson who is 9 years old!!! Boy does time fly.

Carson and Collin, this picture totally describes their
personalities without words!

and this is little Collin.

Anyhow, before this post gets really long and boring. I kind of started this blog because my second son was born with a significant hearing loss, and from there it led to other issues. From the time he was 8 months old were were at the children's hospital sometimes twice a week for testing, as well as he had home therapy with early intervention, speech, and physical therapy each week. Our life was dictated by therapy but once I started to see progress my computer was my outlet and I wanted to document our progression. I wanted to remember and savour the moments that I was too busy 'working' at, so I started this blog to remind myself later. But I can't tell you how many times I have gone back to the beginning and am amazed at how much our life has changed. Go here to read the fist post and see our life unfold, haha.

Anyhow, I love my life! I love my funny husband and I adore my kids. I feel blessed that I was chosen to parent them and I am excited to share our adventures with those that want to read about it (trust me I can make an adventure in pretty much any situation).

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to comment or email and I look forward to making new blogging buddies!

PGE Bill

2011-04-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

So Big Daddy has been freaking out about our PGE bill the last couple months!!! I know I turn out lights every time I leave a room and I only have one shower a day and only run the dishwasher when it is full. Compared to when Big Daddy runs it and only has... say a fork in it! He showers twice a day and will only wear his clothes once, therefore giving way to loads and loads and loads of laundry.

He complains when the boys leave the doors open and more so when they leave the light on in their rooms. Heaven forbid they are actually playing quietly there when he comes along and turns out the light! Poor kids.

So I have made these 'reminders' for the boys rooms in light of my husbands electricity concerns.

Old frame I had, painted matte paper, star wars font on picture paper
and YODA image from computer.

As you can tell my boys are into everything 'Star Wars' and I am into everything 'old'. Not quite sure they go together but I am trying to find a balance of combining future and antique!

excuse Big Daddy's hand, didn't have time to mount it.
I did manage to crop out his bald head though.
(he was thankful)

Anyhow, I am linking up to Full of Great Ideas for her $0 budget linky party! I have to admit that I really wanted to go to the store and buy blue frames and new matte for the pics but I resisted and did this all with what I had at home.

what INSPIRES me????

2011-03-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

So here I am writing my, 'Inspire me Monday' post for my good friend Bec and I am having a hard time trying to decide what is inspiring me???

So Bec, I have been thinking about this post for 5 days and I really wanted it to be over the top, make you laugh, cry and impact your life forever! But... that isn't happening. I thought about writing how I was going to learn a new language this week, (which I probably should be working on my sign language skills). I also really wanted to say that I am inspired to take out my guitar and master that too, but it is still under my bed! I really wanted to write about how I am going to only give my kids home made, sugar free, healthy snacks. But you know that sure isn't going to happen!!!! The list goes on, I want to be better about reading my Bible everyday, I want to ride my horse everyday (we'll blame that on the weather though). There are endless things that I am truly am inspired to do, and I do try to work on me. But as I sit here thinking the one thing that my mind keeps coming back to is YOU!

I think this one describes us best!

Our friendship has stood the test of time and we have laughed cried and cried some more together and that inspires me! It is so cool to look back over the years and see all the things we have done and memories we have made. I think it really hit me Saturday at the boys party and here our kids are now making memories together!!!! How crazy is that??? As I watched Carson help Lucy up the slide, I about started to cry and wish I could freeze time, but I pulled myself together, who cries at 'Pump it Up' for petes sake???

How cute are they?

Collin and Laredo

Collin and Lucy's first date (supervised of course)

Thanks Bec for one of our favorite gifts!

Snow day with our Dad's while Bec and I were shopping.
(sorry it is blurry, dad took it)

Post snow day!

Super bowl.

Trying to have a sleep over.

Making another memory

Friendship inspires me today, and I want to be a better friend to all my friends, I want to listen better, laugh more and I am inspired to savour the moments and memories. So Bec, in honor of your first 'inspire me monday' Here's to you and our friendship! Thanks for the memories we have made and all the ones to come. Love you.

Nintendo DSi cake

2011-03-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

I have been preparing and planning the boys birthday party for some time now, we have always done a special cake and this year I had planned to have it professionally made. However, it was going to cost a lot of money and to be honest, I felt a bit frivolous spending that much on a cake. I admit that I really went back and forth and even prayed about it, plus I really wanted to support the young lady starting her business. Well when I went to get the ok and support from Big Daddy, he pretty much said NO! So we put our heads together and came up with this! Then I informed poor Nana of what we had to do when she arrived!

hmmmm, is it going to work?

I think so, Collin took one look and guess it right.

final product.

Well I do have about 220 pictures of the actually party, but they are all on this....

Thanks Nana and Papa for my amazing gift.

... and I haven't quite mastered even turning it on quite yet!

Anyhow, it has been a week of birthday craziness around here and it sure was special!

Linked up at Keeping it Simple and Sisters Stuff

Dreams do come true!

2011-03-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ha-Good post title right? But I have waited almost 14 years for this dream to come true. I am trying really hard to think of a cool way to write about it but... it was just cool on it's own! Yesterday my husband Chris (aka as Big Daddy in previous posts) made one of my dreams come true and it was honestly a highlight of my life thus far.

For years I have ran, raced and always watched with longing the couples that would run together and I always wished that was me crossing the finish line with my hubby. I can honestly say I never thought it would happen. But about 7 or 8 months ago he just decided it was time for him to be healthy and off he went to run... I didn't say much or pressure him (apparently I have a habit that, I don't really see the problem but????) Anyhow, like I was saying, I just watched him on his new adventure to health, silently I was elated yet a bit nervous that this was just a phase (he has a habit with 'phases', just ask him about his hoodies). As the months past he got more and more serious while I REALLY tried not to show any excitement (in case that was interpreted as 'pressure'), then he said he wanted to enter a race, I couldn't contain my silence any longer and casually admitted that would be the best birthday present ever to race on my birthday.

Just a little bit excited.

Sooooo... Yesterday we crossed our first finish line together!!!! Orting, WA. Foothills dash 10K.

Carson and Collin ran a mile and Grandma did the 10K too!

Sporting our new shirts, looking good I'd say

We did have a great rest of the day too, with a birthday scavenger hunt, thank you Grandpa Bob for making it extra hard.

first clue

And some birthday cake, see Collin eyeing that cake!
He hasn't had sugar for about a month and he is ready!

It really was a GREAT day!

10th anniversary

2011-02-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow I will have been married 10 years! Wow, hard to believe, and to think we have been together for 13. I truly can't imagine my life without Chris (big Daddy) now!!!!

So this post is to my husband... I am not really sure how I will get him to read this and 'surprise' him but I will figure that out later. I am pretty private about this kind of lovey dovey stuff. I don't write about him much, post on FB about him (unless it is really, really funny) or talk about him much. I am very private about certain matters of the heart and he knows that about me and doesn't care. But today I want him to know that I stepped out of my comfort zone and surprise him with this outpouring of my heart. haha, He will like that I said that.

I love him and I want to be the first to say it. He is always the first to say I love you, say sorry after an argument, hug me first, you get the point. So here I am announcing to the world I love him. (well at least announcing to the couple of readers I have! Maybe that makes it easier, haha)

So to my husband... Chris, as I looked back over our pictures documenting our life together (well the digital ones that I have on my computer, which leaves out our dating, and wedding. How funny is that, we were married right when digital cameras were invented) Anyhow, I see a lot of LAUGHTER, you have brought so much joy to me and the boys and I love that. I see ACCOMPLISHMENTS, we have done a lot of things and have had cool and fun stuff (not that those things mean much, but they are a part of our memories). I see FUN, we have had a lot of fun in our 10 years and I am so thankful that our boys have a very fun life. As I was looking at our pics, it was hard to choose the ones to use, (partly because I have almost 10,000 on file) but I also see a lot of LOVE, and the cool thing is I see it shared with so many people. I see FAMILY, I am always amazed at our boys and how awesome they are how you are the perfect dad for them. I love that we love our extended families and we are able to make memories with them.

Ok so this is reallllllly out of my box so I need to make this short. The last thing I notice is that we need to do better job about taking pictures of us together!!!! Out of the almost 10,000 pics I have, I barely have any of you and I together. haha.

Finally, 10 years is a long time and no it hasn't all been easy or perfect, it takes a lot of hard work but the biggest thing I see in our life is... that you will always be in it!!!! I truly can't imagine my life without you! and I will take the good, the bad and the ugly as long as it is with you! I love you and Happy 10 years! I am so excited for the next 10!!!!!

So here you go Honey, my tribute to our 10 years and you still make me SMILE!!!!

Before you watch the video, scroll all the way down and press pause on brightonbrothers playlist. Also, not sure why on the video it cropped some of the pictures, usually the top of your head, but you are pretty tall!

Love, Me

A very random post!

2010-11-20T19:59:00.000-08:00

At the barn cozied up eating breakfast, my favorite time of the day!

So... it is hard to post anything after our exciting trip to Disneyland, and every time I am at the computer I start looking the list of blogs I love and all the cool crafts they do and I get very side tracked. I wish I could do all those fun crafts, then take super cute pictures of them and then write a cool and funny post about it! But alas I can't even manage to get to the craft!!!! Anyhow, I looked back over my posts and I realized I haven't posted about Collin's progress in a long time and really, that was what started this whole blog in the first place. That and the fact that one day I am going to send this blog into one of those sites that will put it in a book and VOILA a scrapbook for me!!!! Seeing as I can't seem to manage to get one scrapbook done for either of my kiddos! Or even a picture of them in my wallet for crying out loud!!! Ok can you tell I am side tracked and really not wanting to write about what is really on my mind?

By the way, remember when I said I didn't know what a blog was??? What a weird word right??? I was so confused for all this time about a BLOG that I finally researched it (thanks to GOOGLE UNIVERSITY) and found out it isn't a weird word at all... just like we hand write in journals and we LOG our thoughts, progress, etc. A blog is a WEBlog! Get it??? A web log. So totally makes sense to me now and I am amazed that someone was so creative and cool to come up with that! How smart. Anyhow, I hope all of you learned something new today too, come on you can admit it if you didn't know what it meant either. Or at least pretend to admit it and make me feel better that I wasn't the only one who didn't know what the word BLOG meant.

Ok, well I am stalling I guess. Here we go... In all respects Collin is doing amazing, if we think about the fact that just less than 18 months ago if you asked him his name he would have no clue what you were talking about. Now when you ask him what his name is, he is more than excited to tell you his name is COWWWIN. In fact he is the kid who will see people walking on the side walk and roll his window down and yell, "HI, my name is COWWWWIN!!!" You have to be careful though. because if you are trying to get him to introduce himself to a new friend and you whisper in his ear "Say... what is your name?", he will definitely say "say what is your name?" and it begins a very funny back and forth conversation of "no, what is your name?" So I guess you can say that he is very literal and it is teaching me to be very clear, concise and less wordy with my communicating. Which as you all know, for me, that is a good thing!

Just the other day I was upstairs for a little bit while he was watching Diego downstairs and when I came down he said to me "MomMom, when you updare I am missing you" which really caught me off guard, then he proceeded to come over and hug me! Which only told me he truly understood what he meant and he used a correct sentence in context!!!!! So yes I cried.

These are just two examples of his progress but these are two HUGE milestones for him. He understands emotions now, he can show you a happy face and a grumpy face and we are working on surprised and scared right now. He is learning the difference between breakfast, lunch and dinner. Right now everything is dinner. But hey one down two to go. He can say "let's check it out" when he wants to show you something, and he knows that if he wants something and I say no, he asks very nicely "in a little bit?" Which in his world could be 30 minutes from now or 30 days but hey, it is better than NO. He also knows the difference between a boy and a girl and he knows that he is a part of our family, we belong to him. When he is talking to others about us, he refers to us as MY Dad, MY Carson, MY MomMom, even when he is talking to us. So we are working on the fact that he doesn't have to say MY in front of each person's name. But I am just happy he knows that this is his family, for a while every adult male was Daddy and that didn't go over too well with some men.

His teacher was telling me the other day that while they were working on a project, the scissors weren't working and so Collin turned into a super hero and tried to explode his super powers through his hands to make it go faster and after numerous tries and amazing super hero noises he paused and looked at his hands and said "Valerie, it's not working!!!" So funny and I love that he really thought he had his own super powers!

Super heros at their finest! Seriously are they not the cutest ever???
I know I am biased but...

Well that is about where we are at, it is pretty exciting to see where we have come, it is still a long road and to be honest it seems pretty daunting to even think about the fact that he has to learn to read in less than a year!!! But I am really learning to just take one day at a time. I tend to get caught up in what his future looks like and I try to change it the way I think it needs to be and I am realizing that is probably not an option. I have high expectations of him and I do believe he will rise up and meet them, but just like our prayers don't get answered in our time line or in the exact way we hope, we wait and be thankful in the moment we have now! I am learning AGAIN that I need to not only trust the Lord with my own life but my boys, and to be honest I think that is harder!!! Yikes... when will I learn!

After pumpkin carving, yes Collin is in swim, which we since have had to hide!

DISNEYLAND

2010-10-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

Disneyland

Well we pulled it off! After 9 months of planning, saving and scheming, we managed to completely surprise our boys with a trip of a lifetime and boy was it worth it.

The surprise started with 'going to grandpa Noodlecycles' and spending the night, they were so excited to see Granpa Noodlecycle and Grammy that we could have come home the next day with happy kids. Aunt Kim, Uncle Kevin and baby Riley met us there too which just added to the excitement.

On the plane, so fun

The next morning we got up early to take Grandpa to the airport (he even packed a bag to pretend). Grandpa only lives about 5 minutes away and I was literally shaking I was so nervous and excited and scared we wouldn't pull it off. I was in the very back with both camera's ready and tears welling up in my eyes. We all piled out of the car to give Grandpa and hug goodbye and by the time he gave the news to the boys, both Chris and I were choking back tears. It went off without a hitch and was a very special moment we will never forget.

We had a great time on the airplane and yet were still a bit anxious... one more big surprise the make happen and Nana, Grundpa, Auntie Ronelle and Uncle Steve jumped out and made the moment unforgettable.

So let me tell you, I am not sure if I have ever slept better than I did that first night. We felt so much relief that I fell in that big cozy bed and dreamt of Goofy dancing in his kitchen.

shopping in Disneyland

a little overwhelmed with the choices

We have talked a lot about what our 'favorites' were but it is too hard to choose, there was so much 'magic' in everything we did, it was hard to say that one was the best. Chris would probably choose the Pirates of the Caribbean, Carson would choose Jedi training, Collin I think loved meeting the 'guys' I think he honestly believed they were real. Me, I think it was seeing the boys enjoy every minute, well and Indiana Jones. We all loved the parades, the trick or treating, and being with our family making these special memories.

Well I could go on and on about our trip and share all of our favorite moments and fun times, but here are a few pics that I haven't put on Face book or emailed anyone. I also made a video but Blog spot won't upload it, too big I guess, so I will have to put it on Face book instead. Anyhow, Disneyland cannot disappoint you and I am so thankful we were able to do this with our boys, it is something we will never forget.

at the parade, brother like brother...

waiting for a bugs life

pirate dinner show, a favorite memory

Carson's best impression of a pirate!

Such a memory meeting the 'guys' as Collin calls them

highlight for Carson, waiting for Jedi training

my LEAST favorite memory, the ferris wheel at California Adventure. I was soooo scared

Tower of Terror, notice everyone screaming except Collin!

tree house, just looking so cute

I have looked at our pics a hundred times and watched the video now about 8 times and each time I get choked up, not that I expect anyone else to get choked up, haha. But one more note, I just went and peeked at my boys sleeping and here it is three weeks later and Collin is curled up asleep with all his 'guys' (Toy Story, Incredibles, etc) that he bought in Disneyland with his own money. And Carson has his highly valued light saber that he personally created and made at Star tours, completely secured and kept in a safe spot until tomorrows next battle! These are memories that I pray they will never forget! Thanks Disneyland!

brothers

The whole gang

summer is over...

2010-09-23T19:53:00.000-07:00

I feel I need to post about our summer because in a couple weeks I am going to post about something super exciting and fun we are about to do but... I need to document our summer first.

Grandpa (noodlecycle) and Dad!!!

Fun day hiking

We really had a good one, it was kind of weird, stressful, adventurous, and busy all wrapped into one. I think the best thing was that my boys seemed to connect as brothers. I was just explaining to friends today that I feel bad for Carson sometimes, he doesn't really have that typical brother, friendship thing that most brothers have. I need to point out that Carson loves to just play, he can pretty much get along with anyone and can make friends with pretty much anyone, but with Collin he is constantly having to teach him something, take care of him or protect him (yes, some of that is just normal older brother responsibility). Not only are they 4 years apart in age, there is also Collin's delay which makes the gap seem bigger. Carson really should have had about 4 brothers to play with he is that fun. But instead he got Collin who is just learning how to 'play'. This summer we travelled so much and did so many things that only included the 4 of us, they really had to rely on each other as play mates, friends and yet still brothers. I think Carson finally understood what it was like to have a normal brother and experience that 'brotherhood bond'. It was very special and seems to continue to be growing faster. He doesn't like it when kids are mean to Collin, he is excited to get him off the bus, he wants to see Collin first thing in the morning just to say Hi! Kind of exciting and yet not something I ever thought I would even worry about!!!!

Great wolf lodge (best time ever)

Anyhow, back to summertime fun. Chris was home A LOT! I want to say that this was the stressful part but it really wasn't. Yes he did have a job change but it was so fun to have him home. We had so many field trips and did things that we could never have done with him on the road. So it was great. But I will say that it was the weird part, haha. Just because we are so not used to that.

Cousin Riley

Fun times at lake with Sebastion

Our two Grandmas who we love so much

He really is having fun!!!!

Fun day with Aunt Kim and Uncle Kevin

Cousins!!!! Lauren, Tyler and boys

Dad and Grandpa Bob (had to include on of Dad BBQing)

Sleep over with cousin Riley

This summer was so different than last year... last year I was so blessed to do so many fun things with my best girlfriends and the boys and I made a ton of memories with our closest friends (that I will always cherish), and I did miss them this summer, but I guess the best part of this summer, 2010, was it felt 'normal' to be a family that too I will cherish!

who needs a Fireman to rescue a cat when you have Rob...

2010-08-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Well it seems we have lots of funny adventures out on TWIN RAKES LANE, and I never seem to post about them, but this one is too good not to talk about.

Last wednesday we were getting ready for lessons and I was in the pasture trying to coax the horses in and the boys keep yelling at me that they hear meowing! I kept yelling back that it was just Stella (the dog) trying to get into the pasture with me. The boys wouldn't stop and I was starting to get irritated with them so I went out to the car to prove to them that it was just Stella and see she was just fine now that I am out of the pasture. (She loves me, haha) Well I got out to the Tahoe and there they were under the car and kept telling me to LOOK Mom, LOOK!!! So I did just to shut them up...

WELLLLLLL, all I saw was a black cat's paw HANGING, yes I said HANGING from the spare tire!!!! AHHHHH, I about freaked. I thought for sure that I had a mangled cat half alive under my car. WHAT do I do???

We tried calling it, purring to it, giving it grain (I know, what cat eats grain??? but it was all we had) we tried petting it, everything. I didn't know what to do, pretty sure that Bec did NOT want a cat roaming around her place... but I had lessons to teach and was also pretty sure if the darn cat came out, Chris did NOT want it left alone in our car for three hours while I taught lessons!!!

the cat is really under there!!!!!

Well lo and behold Rob pulls up with Kyle for his lesson and he rescued the cat!!!! What a hero! Not only did he rescue the cat, he held it for an hour while we had our lesson. What a great guy! Who needs a firefighter with a ladder.... we got Rob!

we finally figured out how to lower the tire and Rob squeezed it out!

what a guy!!!!! thanks Rob

I forgot to mention that this silly cat rode in our spare tire for about 15 minutes before the boys found it. When we got home I went door to door until I found the owner and they were very happy to have him back!

FOOTBALL!!!! aaaaahhhh

2010-08-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

WOW, I didn't quite realize that I haven't posted much since school ended. So much for me trying to document our life in hopes that I would put this all in a book someday. Well that is going to be my goal for the rest of summer. We are having a great and fun filled summer and I am so stressed that it is almost over, but we will make the most of what we have left. Which leads me to say that we will spend most of our next few weeks watching Carson as he plays FOOTBALL (yes I am yelling) for the first time.

Oh my, how cute is he????

So this is huge!!!! He is soooo excited and I am terrified!!!!!! I really am scared to be 100% honest here, but I am so scared he is going to get hurt and be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. There I said it. I feel much better just admitting it out loud. He has wanted to play for over a year now and I feel like that is a good sign. He has tried pretty much all of the typical 'organized' team sports without much interest and now I have been hearing about this for a YEAR and I really couldn't talk him out of it, trust me I tried!!!

So first practice is Monday night and I am sure I will post about it after! I just hope I am not the only Mom out there trying not to cry, (how embarrassing would that be?) Anyhow, if you think about us on monday night pray for us, ok at least pray for me!

Oh boy, what have I done?

Wish us luck and let's hope Carson will be a really great Kicker!!!!

A year gone by!

2010-06-15T19:56:00.001-07:00

The amazing Ann and Valerie!!!

Well it is hard to believe a whole school year has passed by! I vividly remember putting Collin on the bus the first time for preschool. I am not sure HOW long I cried for! I think I was crying just last week for the same reason, ha ha and now I am crying just thinking of everything he has accomplished this year!

The first few bus rides were great, he loved it but by the second week he didn't and after a few weeks of crying and screaming I was pretty much ready to quit school and say "forget it, this is ridiculous, he is fine with me". It was the most horrible feeling for about 4 hours everyday (until he got off the bus at home) that I have ever experienced, waiting to get a phone call, wondering if he was still crying, wondering if anything bad happened on the bus, etc, etc, etc. I was sooooo torn with trying to justify keeping him home or him getting all the services he needed. I can honestly say I was pretty much ready to quit, I mean seriously, not many three year olds have to ride a bus for an hour to go to preschool for crying out loud! Then when we had our first 'real conversation' I knew he needed school, and I knew I couldn't have had this conversation without school, it was humbling and hard to admit that I couldn't do it all, yet it was so exciting to see all his new words and progression.

I think back to last June and we worked AAAALLLLLLLL summer (two months solid on one sentence) for him to say "Collin" when someone asked him his name! He had no clue. Now he wants to know EVERY ONE'S name and doesn't have a problem rolling down his window to tell the passerbyers that his name is Collin. He barely knew his body parts, and now he knows he has knees and elbows. He couldn't tell you the difference between a bird or a duck and now he knows all his animals and even got to play a duck in a the 'wishy washy' play! He knows that Carson is his brother!!! and he gets that each family has a MomMom, Daddy and a Carson! (or something like a Carson) He can tell me to "wait one second". Everyday he understands one more thing and it is less frustrating for him (well, and us). He and Carson get closer and closer each day (except when the hit each other, which also happens daily) and it is just so cool to see the progress he has made. I think the best part is not just that he has sooooo many words now, which was our goal, but that he gets it. He understands his words, he uses them in context and gets jokes and KNOWS that using his words makes him connect with people and that is what his life is about!

Singing and signing their favorite song for all the parents

Well anyhow, I could go on and on about all the funny things Collin says but for some reason I am drawing a blank. I really need to write them down. But anyhow, Thursday was his last day of school for the year and I was so impressed with all the kids and teachers at his school. These kids work so hard for every word they have. They experience life differently than we do and they appreciate things that we take for granted. So I guess it is pretty much and honor to parent them, to relive and experience things through them.

Collin and his friends, so cool!!!

This is a bitter sweet time, I shared previously that we were able to hold onto the 'baby' in him because his delays made him seem a lot younger that his 4 years, he didn't really seem like he was 4, yet those moments are fading fast. I guess that is a good thing but it is still a teeny tiny bit sad that our baby is not a baby anymore.

Receiving his certificate for one year of school ( he was also the only student to curl up in Ann's lap for a picture)

It feels like just yesterday I reluctantly put him on that bus for the first time and I dreaded every moment and yet now I look forward to what next year has in store for him and I will be excited when that little yellow bus pulls up to our door!

Carson runs a MILE

2010-05-26T15:25:00.000-07:00

I realize I haven't shared since the boys birthdays I can say that a lot has happened in this last month but the most exciting thing happened today...

Carson ran a MILE, (I know he probably runs a heck of a lot more than that throughout the day) but today he ran a MILE with ME!!!! It was such a cool time, yup all 10 minutes!

He has signed up to play football this year and it starts in August and so he is wanting to get in shape and be ready, today in the car on the way home from school he asked if he could start running, so as a runner myself we got home from school, changed and out we went... right into a downpour! I am not kidding when I say if we were three blocks to the right or left we would have been in the sunshine but nope, it poured right on top of us. But I didn't care. He wanted to run with me.

Carson's very first run at 6 weeks old

Over the past eight years Carson has run with me A LOT, in the jogger (from the time he was 6 weeks old) to riding his bike for over 7 miles. I remember when he was about three and we were coming up the hill by Safeway and when we got to the top he said "hard work Mama?" or another time when we were on a different hill, he tried to encourage me saying "Go Mama, Go!" We have lots of memories running like that, lots of treats, books and even road kill. Once we even talked about when people die and go to heaven that they get "blowed back up", he had seen so much road kill where the dead animals are usually flat so he figured that God blowed air back in them. I was a bit worried he would steer clear from running after the few 7 milers but today we got home and he said "tomorrow I want to do 2 miles with you Mama!"

trying to see if it will stop raining!

Yup this is one special day!

The song playing 'fireflies' is Carson's favorite and he sings it over and over again!

Carson turns EIGHT!!! holy moly!!!

2010-03-29T19:46:00.001-07:00

Baby Carson

Well today is even harder than Saturday! Carson turned eight today and I am really bummed that he is growing up! Each year he gets more and more independent and it is hard, yet I am so happy for him that he is so well adjusted. As a baby and preschooler, he was almost too shy and reserved, so much so, that I was worried about him. But he has really come out of his shell and he needs me less and less each year and that is sad (in a good way!)

Chris worked out of town a lot those first few years that Carson was here and him and I did so much together, everything has always been easy with him! We had a lot of fun and a lot of memories. He loves whole heartily and he warms up our house. He loves his Dad a WHOLE lot and I often catch him reading to Collin. Carson is very loving but doesn't like to be the center of attention (good or bad) so expressing his emotions is a bit harder than... say his brother. :) But I hear him tell Collin or extended family or certain friends he loves them. I can't make a big deal because it would embarrass him but it makes my heart swell when I hear him speaking from his heart, I am so thankful God gave me this guy!!!!!!

Carson age 1

Today when I opened up this blog to sign in the verse listed was the Fruits of the spirit and I about cried! Each on describes my sweet Carson to a tee!

Carson age 2

LOVE ~ He is soooo loving and always has been, he is always telling us he loves us, he is always giving random hugs and he talks sooo much about how he loves his family and how important they are too him. (he doesn't share this with everyone, but I get these talks and I love it)

JOY~ Like I said Carson has been reserved and shy growing up but he has this indescribable joy about him and gets excited about the smallest thing!

Three years old, first movie!

PATIENCE ~ He is patient when he is working on something or waiting for someone (me while I am chatting to my friend), but he does get frustrated when working on homework or something hard, but it is not because he isn't patient it is because he is disappointed with himself and wants to get it right!

Fourth birthday

KINDNESS, GOODNESS, GENTLENESS ~ This is Carson, he is the kindest, most gentle guy out there. He is honestly GOOD and we rarely have to correct him and when we do I don't know who is more upset, us or him!

FIVE!

FAITHFULNESS ~ I can only pray that he continues to be faithful to pray every night and go to church and seek God in his daily life. So far so good, he loves to pray at night and he loves to go to church and I think he honestly loves to please God. "please Lord, continue to give him that desire!"

Six years old

SELF CONTROL ~ He is even great at this, he will save his favorite desert for later, or even his favorite veggie for that matter. He savors every bite of food and knows when to quit. He saves his money to buy what he really wants and he knows when he really wants to do something or not! He knows when he is tired and will take himself to bed or knows if he has watched too much TV!

my fav pic, age 7

I am so proud of this guy! He is such a great example of to many others and I am proud that he is my son!

Today at his school party!

Happy Birthday Carson! I love you soooo much!!!!

Love, Mom

My baby is FOUR!!!!

2010-03-27T20:24:00.001-07:00

Wow, today is a weird day, Collin turned four today! Only Collin would spend his birthday in the URGENT CARE!!! Yup that is right, but I will get to that later.

I guess I am not sure what to think of him being four, it seems like the 'toddler' years should be almost over but for Collin and his small delays he seems to be right in the middle of them. It can be confusing, in some ways he does seem four, physically he looks four (not super tall but big), he has amazing fine motor skills, he understands soooo much (more than he can say), and he is so darn cute.

Yet I have been able to hold onto the 'baby' in him, he still seems so young. He loves to be held by me, he loves to give me kisses and he loves to tell me he loves me, well I guess he 'wubs' me. Anyhow, he has always been so special and kind and loving, but something has happened these last few months... he seems to have a great sense of humor! He seems to really really care about people and their feelings! (a far cry from when he hit every kid we met), he just loves his brother and Dad beyond any possible measurement. And he has exploded in is language and understanding, he is so determined and works so hard to tell us what is on his mind, even when he is frustrated he keeps at it until he can figure out how to tell us. Collin lives life to the fullest and we often joke, that he is just happy to wake up everyday!

He is also very TOUGH! For example (this is just one of many) his eye started bugging him a few days ago and I chalked it up to allergies because he was still his jolly old self, then I noticed a funny thing on his eye, looked like sand but wouldn't move. Every once in a while he would wince in pain and ask for us to put saline solution in it but that was about it. Today (his birthday) it was way worse so we took him to the Urgent care. Sure enough something was imbedded in his cornea and his eye had to be numbed as they dug out the foreign body. This kid is amazing!!! He was actually helping the doctor hold open his eye as she kept trying to get the thing off his cornea. Then his whole eye was numb for over an hour!

I guess all I can say is that I am so proud of him, these past four years he has been poked, prodded, evaluated, tested and retested so many times it isn't even funny. On top of that he has had more trips to the doctor, ER and specialists than the rest of the family combined. Yet he never has a tantrum, he cooperates and he THANKS the doctors (without being told to) when they are done.

I LOVE this kid. I could go on and on about him and tell lots of funny and cool stories but I will stop and say that though I am a bit sad that he is growing up so fast, I am also sooooo excited for each birthday to come and what memories each year brings us.

Happy Birthday Collin!!! I love you and am soooooo proud of you!

A little about Star wars...

2010-01-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

Today I returned home from after a great MOPS morning and there were three loads of laundry needing to be done, the breakfast dishes were still on the table, toys on the living room floor, three beds that were still unmade and the iron and ironing board were up. Might not sound like a big deal but I generally try to never leave the house like that. I especially like the kitchen clean and the beds made before I leave. But trying to get out of the house by 8AM on MOPS mornings is a bit rushed. I have to shower and put on my Sunday best for heavens sake! Which is a feat in itself. Heck I even put blush and lip gloss on! So needless to say, I knew upon arriving home that I had some work that needed to be done before I picked Carson up from school.

I quickly fed Collin and tried to get him engaged in a TV show so I could get my cleaning done(I know bad mom for using the TV as a sitter) but he wasn't having it. He followed me around and just as I was getting a bit frustrated I happen to remember those words that our amazing speaker had shared with us just an hour before. 'Let it go', I needed to let all the chores go and be MomMom to this little guy right then! Not after I finished my housekeeper duties. I have to admit I tried to get away with just one book but no luck. So I literally ended up reading about 15 books. So, no I didn't re-roof the house (get it MOPS moms?) but my child who needs all the language exposure he can get, got it and got new words today and those words gave him more ability to connect with us.

Well there is a funny part to this too, because the last book we read had to do with going potty and it seemed to trigger his daily afternoon potty break which literally takes like 20 minutes and so I managed to pretty much finish my list of chores while he read to himself on the throne! Isn't it great how God always gives us what we need when we are faithful to what he wants us to do!

reading Flush the Potty, yes for some reason he has to remove all articles of clothing

while on the throne!

When Carson gets home from school he pretty much disengages for at least an hour before he is ready to participate in conversations. He likes to have his snack and his new favorite thing is to play his wii, which is great when Collin is at school, he gets to have some alone time but on the days there is no preschool, Collin pretty much follows Carson from room to room and chats away. Poor Carson doesn't really get a moments peace. Well at least I gave Carson his space and did another thing that our speaker suggested and I took a bag of pretzels and spent some time watching TV, (not that she suggest I watch TV, but take time to ourselves and I didn't feel like having a bath) I watched some decorating show on HGTV and had a great time. Collin watched Carson play his game and we all got what we needed. After that Carson and I engaged in our afternoon wii tournament and it is always fun to hear him try to teach me how to play. One day I am actually going to suggest I play star wars with him and he will fall flat on the floor with surprise seeing as I only play the sports games. He loves star wars and he LOVES talking about it. I usually just smile and nod. But not today! I truly listened. I learned that there are good clones and bad clones. I also learned that Anakin is Luke's dad not Darth Vader! (I think?) But it matters to him so it needs to matter to me! (like time travel right MOPS moms?)

light saber duels before bedtime. The green light saber is Master Yoda's and it is funny that Collin the little guy is the one with it!

So today I 'let it go' which is hard for most of us right? or just me? I find with Chris working out of town I feel I need to get everything done, and be on top of it all. But today I let some of it go and I learned a little about Star Wars...

I DUD you Mommom!!!!!

2009-12-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

Ok,

If you scroll way down (or go to the archives) to almost a year ago when I was locked in the house with sick kids and I started this blog you will have learned the I had two amazing boys, Carson who is the most sweet sensitive, loving, affectionate (with Mommom), kind, loyal, literal, and pretty funny guy. Carson will be 8 in March and continues to remain my buddy. That is the best way to describe him. We love to laugh, he always asks how my day was, he loves just being a kids and riding his bike and normal stuff like that! We talk about real issues, I am the first he comes to when he has a joke, (even if he doesn't get it), he is the first I want to watch America's funniest videos with. He has had a couple life lessons this year and has had to deal with a couple real things and he has been amazing and knows we have is back and we love him! He is just so special. Carson told me he loved me before he was two! I remember weeping with joy at that moment. I knew he meant it! He still tells me he loves me all day long. He hugs me at the most random moments. He won't kiss me anymore and I 'try' to respect that when I drop him at school in my sweats and crazy hair and still haven't brushed my teeth!!! I adore him.

Carson and his Christmas homework, isn't that the cutest face ever?????

So not typical Carson to anyone but me!

You will also be reminded that I have Collin that is hard of hearing, Collin will be turning 4 in March. Just this past summer Collin could barely put two word sentences together! Which maybe doesn't sound like a big deal but for a kid with HOH, it is a big deal. He is in a preschool for the deaf and hard of hearing and is doing amazing (which you can read about too). Collin too has always been affectionate, he has been very loving and he has been so joyful since the day he was born. He has been the easiest baby ever. He would just lay around and smile and let anyone hold him, still will for that matter especially cute girls, which I will be watching closely!!! (Lauren, Lucy!!!! to name a couple) Anyhow, we are constantly trying to expose him to lots of language and opportunities that would help his language and I think it was when he learned a few colors that I realized everything would be ok, he is going to get it! I remember telling him I love him and he just said 'green car'. I also remember writing that I longed for the day he tells me he loved me!!!! Like I said, Carson told me that before he was two!

Is that not the face of "I DUD you"???? This is also Collin's

first ever homework, he is sooooo proud!

Well it happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't even write this without crying. It feels like I have waited soooo long to hear those words. I have sat and listened to so many kids way younger than Collin say those words and I have ached to hear it. I have said it to him more times than I could ever count and I tried to emphasis it with hugs and kisses and words describing it so he would get it and I kept feeling like it was never going to happen. For a while it hurt so much that I had to stop trying to force and just back off. But that isn't at all who I am so it didn't last long. OK, so a few weeks ago when I would put him to bed, and say I love you, he started to say it back "I dud u". I didn't really think much of it because I thought he was just repeating me because he has learned to do that too. But just the other day, I was in the car going grocery shopping (of all things to make this moment special) and all three of the boys were all outside Collin came running over to the car, jumped on the running board and held the window and said over and over "I DUD YOU, I DUD YOU!!!!", so not only did he say it, he asked for huggy and kissy! and so I know without a shadow of doubt that he GOT it! He LOVES me, and he knows what love is. He knows it is hugging and kissing and being kind and affection!!!!

The cool part is, that he only says it when he means it, he doesn't use it out of context or when it isn't appropriate!

That has been the best Christmas present yet. I will never tire of hearing either of them say to me "I love you" or if Collin says "I dud you" for the rest of his life I won't care!

So as you put your kids to bed and they say I love you give them an extra kiss for me!!!!

True Thanksgiving!!!

2009-11-26T20:49:00.000-08:00

A flower, that my new little friend drew for me and he tried to teach Collin how to draw one.

Please pray that he continues to GROW in his development

and get the services he needs for his education.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! I hope and pray everyone had a great day today.

We had a good day. This year we are celebrating Thanksgiving as a family tomorrow (Friday) so I wasn't sure what we were going to do today! I started emailing shelters around Salem to see if we could help serve dinner. I thought it would help teach the boys about being grateful, they seemed a bit too much into 'things' lately, and I of course don't want the holidays to mean 'things'. So I figured this would be a great learning opportunity, ha ha. (I can admit now that I think it was me who got the biggest lesson!!!) Anyhow, finally St. Joseph's shelter in Mt. Angel emailed me back and were so pleased to have us come help and let our boys be a part of it!!!

Well today arrived and as our time of departure loomed I started to get cold feet. I didn't know what to expect... what would the families be like, would we be welcomed, etc? Chris completely vocalized his concerns and apprehensions. He was having a hard time and I knew if I admitted I was nervous too, he wouldn't go! So I tried to act like I wasn't nervous at all. At one point the car slowed down for no reason and I think Chris honestly wanted to turn around!!! But we forged on. Luckily it was raining and when he parked we had to RUN to the doors and by that point there was no turning back!!!!

We entered the building and didn't get the response from the cook that we had hoped. We both looked at each other and thought 'what the heck have we done' but Chris was so amazing and just talked and talked that soon we felt right at home, well comfortable at least :). Then it was three o'clock, the cook asked us if we were ready and we said "sure". 6 HUGE MEN entered and I about fell over. I got so nervous, didn't know what to say, or do and as they got closer I started sweating with fear. Chris just said "what's up guys?" and I thought to myself 'WHAT'S UP??that is all you got? these men have no HOME!!!!'. Chris told them all about the dinner and appetizers, etc . They were soooo thankful, kind and HAPPY!!! Then another family came through, and another. Chris continued to amaze me, I had a hard time keeping the darn gravy on the plate and I completely forgot about our kids! Finally I glanced over and saw Carson serving the rolls so proudly and so diligently. Collin of course found a family that he had warmed up to and was sharing their meal, I did wince at that moment watching him take the roll off the plate of one of the residents!!!!

As the line died down we started to mingle with the families and it was quite a reality check, I quickly realized that this could be anyone sitting there. I met a super sweet little guy that is turning 7 soon and just a week ago thursday realized he can talk!!!!! It was so exciting for his parents to see him connect with Collin and the two of them were fast friends.

I was so proud of Carson throughout the night!!! He worked so hard the whole time we were there. He was so happy to be helping. He did ALL the dishes and put them all away and organized all the silverware. He was so confident talking to and dealing with the cook (that had completely intimidated Chris and I) and then he said that he would like to do this next year!

I have to admit that I had many expectations for tonight, and my expectations were totally exceeded but NOT at all how I had imagined. It was cool to see all of our families personalities come out tonight and how they complimented each other. It was a great night to make new friends that just happened to be in a really hard situation. I think I wanted Carson to realize how fortunate he was but I don't think he did... I think I realized that he already knew! He is no more fortunate than any of those kids there tonight. Those parents loved, doted, hugged, smiled and kissed their kids just like we do to ours! Carson didn't know what 'things' they had, and they didn't know what 'things' we had, it was just sharing a meal together. The boys were just happy to be there helping, playing, and 'things' really didn't matter.

I think tonight out of all the things I am thankful for... I am thankful that those families like ours, are TOGETHER and isn't that all that matters?

Happy thanksgiving!

A real CONVERSATION

2009-11-03T19:52:00.001-08:00

First day of school

Teacher Ann

Well I have sat down so many time since September trying to write, especially about Collin's transition to school and his one hour bus ride! But I think I am avoiding it. It is still pretty hard and I think if I don't talk about it then I don't have to be real about my feelings and emotions. So I have been putting it off.

BUT... something really cool happened this morning. Every morning Collin comes into our room at pretty much exactly 6 AM (well that part isn't cool), but he always goes back to sleep, so it isn't too bad. So this morning we were both waking up at around 7 and I was still pretty tired and kept trying to close my eyes and Collin said "tired MomMom?" I of course said "yes, MomMom is still tired" and then I asked "are you still tired" and he said "NO, Collin tired NO" at that point I realized that we were having converstation!!!! So I was frantically trying to think of new questions about being tired, I felt a lot of pressure and so bad didn't want to draw a blank and ruin this moment. Anyhow, I asked "you want to sleep more?" He said "no, all done nap" then I asked "you want to go down stairs?" He said "no, MomMom's bed right here" then he asked "MomMom coppee (coffee)?" and I said "yes, MomMom needs her coffee" and then... he said "MomMom right back?" and I said "yup I will be right back!". I jumped out of bed and went down to get my coffee and let me tell you how hard it was hold the tears back, so I didn't!!!! I did cry. I have waited for this moment for so long. This is such a milestone for him and it felt soooooo good!

I am so excited for Carson and Collin's relationship and for Carson to really be able to talk to his brother. Carson tries so hard to teach Collin things and explain things to him and they both end up frustrated more often than not. I didn't realize how much they have missed out as brothers until I watched different friends and saw how their boys talk and communicate with each other. I always look at Collin's hearing loss as his struggle and didn't think about the fact that Carson is missing some normal brother moments. They totally love each other, they wrestle, play super hero, they laugh, they fight, and they miss each other when one is missing. Carson reads to him, and spends time with him but there is an element that is delayed in their relationship which breaks my heart.

So needless to say the transition to Salem Heights has been great. Don't get me wrong there is still a huge lump in my throat every time I put him on the bus. There was also the three weeks that he kicked and screamed which resulted in both of us in tears every day. There have been so many moments these last two months that I wondered if we were making the right choice for him. I admit to feeling selfish and jealous of the teachers, Collin is gone 15 hours a week which is a lot for a three year old, when Carson was three and in preschool, he was gone maybe 6 hours. So I feel like I am really missing those moments! and truthfully I HATE admitting that I need help with him, that being home with me wasn't enough for his growth and development. But today was worth it and the progress that has happened in two months have been amazing!

waiting for the bus

Well there you go... the truth to why I didn't want to write about this.

Parenting, does it ever get easier?

first Bus ride home

Brogan and Collin on Collin's first day

Well it is 3:40 and his bus should be pulling up soon, and I can't wait to get him off!!!

It has been a long time!!!!

2009-10-08T20:16:00.001-07:00

I didn't quite realize how long it had taken me to do another post. We had such a fantastic summer though and I really need to get some pictures up. I read that you can now submit your blog and there are people that will turn it into a memory book!!! How cool is that for all of us non scrap booking moms!!!! So I really need to keep updating to help preserve my kids memories.

Well so much has happened that I really don't even know where to begin.

Our house sold,

We went to Canada (when we should have been packing, ha ha)

School started and Carson missed the first week

Collin started school to and has to ride the BUS for almost an hour to his Deaf and HOH preschool.

We moved.

Yes it has been a bit overwhelming but we seem to be settling in and I will be really excited when we finally get a routine going. Right now I feel like I am running from one thing to another! But the boys seem to love our new place and think we moved to Disneyland and that is all that matters. I can't wait to tell them when they are married and have kids and are budgeting that they thought 'downsizing' was more exciting than actually going Disneyland.

OK well I have a couple funny stories, why is it that every time I feel inspired to write someone got hurt or there was some kind of catastrophe. I guess that is the life with boys.

Day 1

So the other night, I actually got all the homework done, boys fed, showered, etc all done relatively early. So proud of myself. The boys were cozied up on our bed (their new favorite thing to do at night) watching Sprout TV. I was downstairs and all of the sudden I hear the loudest thud ever!!!! I literally ducked because I wasn't sure if the floor was caving in. I stopped and waited and sure enough Collin started to cry!!!! I ran upstairs, because when he cries we know something is wrong, and he fell off our bed so hard that the carpet had left dents in his forehead.

Post head trauma!

Well I got him calmed down and cozied up again and I didn't want to watch Sprout and so I was going on the computer (they could see me right outside the room) when all of the sudden I hear THWACK. Yup Carson had been hit with a large car while Collin was trying to get comfy. Well those of you who have seen Finding Nemo you know how Dory sounds when she speaks 'whale'. That is exactly how Carson cries. I was almost frustrated until I looked and saw A LOT of blood. Let me tell you, if I had to go to the ER again, I was going to be upset about that bill. Well turns out he split his gum from the top of the tooth to where is lip starts!!! But I am amazed, just two days later you can't even see it!!!!

He won't even open his mouth!

Well that night finally ended and I quickly went to bed and tried to get rejuvenated for the next day!

DAY 2

All is great, we are having a super great day together. We were working on a project that requires paint, cards, and little boys hands. I had started with Collin and thought to myself "hmmmm is this a good idea, he is going to think he can do this himself" but I continued. Then I hear the phone ring and heard Carson answer it and chat away to Nana and Grumpa so I figured I could finish with Collin. Then Collin and I went upstairs to talk as well (we have a video phone and can see them when we talk and it is super fun) Well, I left the paint out so Carson could do his part and wasn't too worried until our cell phone rang and Carson ran down to answer it because he figured it was Dad. (which it was) So I heard them chatting for a bit and heard him slowly start back upstairs saying"you should see it Dad, there are green hands everywhere!!!"

It did take me a minute to figure out what was happening and I quickly yelled at my Mom, hung up and went running. Sure enough there were green hand prints everywhere. (do I need to mention this is a brand new rental that is really nicer than our brand new house we just sold) I about panicked. I worked for I don't know how long on that paint. I did manage to get it out of the carpet but I can honestly say that I am not sure that the magic erasers are really magic!!!!

This is just one small section!!!!

Anyhow, all is said and done and I have been trying to think about what I learned from this. I have to say that I just love my boys. I do seem to write about their 'adventures'. But they really are the best. It was even too hard to be mad about the paint because they were so darn cute. Carson was so good about helping me clean the mess up and making sure I was ok and Collin felt so bad that I am still getting random hugs from him (today in the jogger I swear my run took twice as long because he kept saying "huggy wight ear mom mom" and how do you not hug him). They truly are the best things in our lives and I am not sure what Chris and I would without them. Green paint and all!!!

Yup that is after about 5 tries of Oxy clean and magic eraser.

Yes that is only one spot but I am bound and determined to get all the spots off!!! I will be posting when I do! Have a great night!

The dreaded phone call that your son is on the way to the ER...

2009-07-23T14:43:00.001-07:00

outside the ER being super heros (notice the numerous stickers on Collin's arms)

Yup, you guessed it Collin went to the ER, certainly not Carson who seems to have escaped ANY tragedy so far. I was on my way to pick him up from his summer preschool and my friend Traci called (I had riding lessons this morning and had asked her to wait with him if I was five or ten minutes late), so I wasn't surprised that she was calling to see if I was going to make it in time. I was about to tell her I was on time when she said "don't panic, Collin isn't even crying but we are on our way to the ER, I think he needs a couple stitches". She was so calm that I didn't panic at all. It really sounded like no big deal.

She had to leave her two other kids at school while she took Collin and so I ran to get them and head to the hospital seeing as I was less than two minutes away. She said that she would get him checked in and get the paperwork started. So I ran to the school and ran to the classroom to grab the boys. As soon as I walked in all the kids started graphically telling me that there was blood pouring out Collin's head!!! His whole face was covered in blood!!! He had blood in his ears and nose!!! I know kids exaggerate but was this more serious than I thought.

As I got the kids loaded into the car they continued to elaborate on the story of how bloody he was without telling me WHAT happened even though I kept trying to ask how he got so bloody. I have to admit I was starting to feel a bit panicky, I was also feeling bad that he wasn't with me and I was starting to worry that it was a bad situation. Luckily the hospital is about thirty seconds away from the school so I raced over there and ran into the hospital. I think they heard me coming because I was barely in the front door and the receptionist said "are you Lesley?" and I of course said "yes" and then she said to someone "she's here" and within seconds someone was there to usher me to his room. We got just inside the ER and she paused and said to me, "don't worry, it looks worse than it is and head wounds bleed a lot" Let me tell you, that a couple stitches and head wound are two very different scenarios to a mother! Now I am pretty scared and really want to get in there. As I rounded the corner all I heard was "let's get this cleaned up before mom gets here", nothing like a comment like that to give mom a good scare.

Whew, I see my sweet tiny little boy curled up into Traci's arms. (OK, he's not very little but he sure looked it today) Instant relief washes over when I see that he is OK! Turns out he kind of fell from the monkey bars and kind of hit his head on one of the bars just right. Anyhow, now we have two moms, 5 boys, and 4 hospital staff crammed into a very small room. Kind of chaotic but none the less amusing :) so obviously Traci took the boys out and I stayed with Collin.

The doctor finally came and definitely confirmed that he needed stitches. I was totally fine with that until the literally wrapped him like a mummy and it took three of us to pin him down and one doctor to do the stitches!!! I am also pretty sure that the doctor didn't wait long enough for the numbing medicine to work before she started scrubbing and stitching. But he is fine, and has 5 stitches in his head. I am sure I will be fine too once the vivid memory fades of him laying there and screaming "MomMom all done, all done"

The cutest part of the whole ordeal was after he stopped crying, he was sitting on my lap and we could hear another baby crying across the hall, Collin said "Carcan crying" and I said "no, Carson is fine" then Collin asks "Gaycon crying?" and I said "no Grayson is fine too" then he asks "Gogan crying? "No Brogan isn't crying" and once more he asks "Dadan crying?" and I tell him "no Dalton isn't crying, all your friends are OK" and then he looks up at me and his eyes well up with tears again and he says "Cowin crying!" and I hugged him and said "yes Collin is crying but soon you will feel OK!!!"

Collin trying to get his fingers to do the spider man thing

And who new all it would take was a couple Spiderman stickers and that would make everything all better. We did have one small meltdown when he tried to put the spiderman band aid on his new ouchie and we had to tell him no. Try explaining the differences of a bandaid and sticker to a 3 year old that just recently learned what 'sticky' is. Everything in our house that sticks is a bandaid!

It's funny how it was quite an ordeal and now it seems like those couple hours didn't even happen. I think he was bummed about how fast he got whisked away from school. Once we pulled into the garage, he was saying "bye cheacher, bye cheacher" His teacher Meg always gives lots of hugs and loves when the kids leave and I think he was bummed he missed it!!!!

Collin hiding his ouchie, won't let me go near it!

Anyhow, that was our afternoon, I knew this day was coming. Even though Collin didn't walk until he was almost 20 months old, he sure is making up for it now, and it always makes for a great story, sometimes I think to myself 'is this really what is happening? and it sure is, but it usually only involves Collin!!! As I was saying thank you to the hospital staff without thinking I just said "see you soon" Then as I was walking away I thought to myself 'is there a discount club card or something for frequent patients???' I think we are going to need it!!!!

I just asked if he was ok and he said GESH (yes), this episode didn't slow him down much let me tell you!

Tonight I put Carson to bed and he said I had fun today!!! WHAT??? that was fun??? but I took a moment and thought to myself how it looked to him. He did have a great day, spent hours with his friends, went to lunch with them, ice cream with them and it was a very exciting day. I am glad he had a great day and I am glad it turned out how it did, and I am thankful I have friends like Traci that I can really count on in a crisis like that, we did have fun and we had lots of laughs today!!! What an experience but happy I can share it with special friends.

Traci cutting Collins cord (yes Chris was there, he didn't want to pass out!) So thankful she was there for this too.

The update

2009-07-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well I actually have a lot to talk about but really don't know where to start! I think I might actually need to make a few posts in order to document the last couple weeks. I guess I should start with Collin's update on his hearing!!!!

After the last post we did have a hearing test the next day and I really wasn't afraid and I really felt good about things. I was quite content with our progress that I had a good night sleep and got up feeling refreshed and ready to take on whatever mountain or mole hill I was going to face the next day...

Well the audiologist got right to the point. So efficient, it was definately evident when he was really listening and when he was really trying to fake us all out!!!! She had some tricks up her sleeve to fake him out though. The bad news is that he really wasn't hearing exactly what we thought he was, so it seems to have gotten worse. However, the good news is that it may or may not be getting worse. It really just might be where he has always been and that he really has been able to fake it. So kind of a bummer but no sense in worrying or fretting until we know for sure, and that is not going to be for some time possibly a couple years.

Anyhow, she adjusted his hearing aid and we were scheduled to come back in two weeks. During this time I was to document any changes and new sounds he made, any vowels he was able to make and anything out of the ordinary. Feeling somewhat not super in tune with him after the last episode when I couldn't even figure out his battery was dead, I was a bit apprehensive that I could read him like she wanted me too Well, two weeks was this past Wednesday and I have to admit I was really nervous. I really wanted to WOW her with his progress but was really hoping I wasn't over exaggerating.

Two days before the test, I asked Collin if his dinner was good and he nodded at me. Then I asked him if he had fun at school and he nodded at me. Later I asked him if he liked the green car he was holding and he nodded at me and verbally said yes!!! (well I at least know it was the word yes) I almost jumped out of my skin. I have be WAITING for him to be able to answer questions and he finally can!!! This is so exciting.

So off I went to the hearing test and instead of what I usually do (bombarding the poor specialists with information and questions and ideas and yadda, yadda, yadda) I actually waited for her to ask me about his progress. Then I exploded with my answer and all my words describing his last two weeks. If you would have heard me you would have thought that he was the first 3 year old to have ever piloted a space ship to the moon! So she ushered us into the booth and wanted to see for herself if what I said was true!!!! and....

IT WAS, he did great, his face lit up when he heard different sounds and he was so proud of himself throughout the whole test. During the test he can see through a glass window and Carson was on the other side and my favorite part was when he heard something new he would yell at Carson and say "ere dat Carcan??? ere dat???"

Anyhow it was great news and we are cleared for a few weeks to really get him used to to his hearing newly turned up to this level and I am so excited to see the progress each day that he seems to be making. Even just the other day we were trying to talk to Nana and Grumpa on the video phone and all the sudden he took off and came running back with his hearing aid and wanted it in so he could hear them.

So, more progress and I am choosing to relish in it and not worry about if he is going totally deaf. Regardless, it is so exciting for us to be on this journey together and I can't wait to see how this affects our families future. Carson won't have to take a second language hopefully. haha

Kind of Embarrassing

2009-06-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well I have been waiting to write this blog for awhile, I was actually waiting to update everyone after our hearing test tomorrow. As some of you know, Collin had a pretty important hearing test two weeks ago and tomorrow we go in to test (with the hearing aid) and see if we have to turn it up! This is significant because if we do, it means Collin has lost some hearing and that is, I guess nothing but a BUMMER!

Anyhow, back to the story... Well being summer and all, there have been so many moments when Collin hasn't had to wear his hearing aid, anytime there is sand involved, swimming, playing in the sprinklers, etc. You get the idea, so pretty much almost never if you live in our house when you try to escape any time the door is even cracked open. So the other day I was putting the hearing aid in and Collin was freaking out! I couldn't understand what the problem was. I literally had to pin him down to get it in and as soon as I did, he ripped it out. For two days we went through this, it was an absolute nightmare. Worse than when he was a baby! I did manage to keep it in for about 20 minutes when he was in the jogger and had about 8 SUCKERS!!!! But as soon as they were gone, the aid was out!!!! I was so frustrated, I was about ready to cry that I let him keep it out. I didn't know what was wrong!!!! At first I thought it was that he was just demonstrating his independence! Then I figured he had an ear infection. I mean why else would he be freaking out right??? My poor baby, probably in pain and I am forcing him to wear this thing and making the pain more intense!

So being the good parent I marched him off to the doctor to get it taken care of asap. I was worried that we would have to cancel this hearing test and hoped that if I got him on antibiotics right away it would be fine by the time Wednesday rolled around.

Well, much to my surprise.... NO ear infection! "WHAT, are you sure?" I asked? She said his eardrum looked GREAT. Some wax that we need to get out but no ear infection. As they were irrigating his ear I was pretty shocked to see how much sand came pouring out his ear! (as you can see from the pics, there has been a lot of sand involved lately)

We left and I was thinking and yes a bit discouraged again, that we were back to square one of getting him used to wearing his hearing aid, I was thinking about time consuming that is and how tiring it is and how hard it is NOT to get frustrated during those times. AHHHH what was I going to do.

Back at home I had one more thought. Hmmm, when was the last time I checked the battery??? Yup it had been a couple days alright. I usually check it every night when I clean it and put it away for the day but we had been busy and I forgot! I turned the hearing aid on and listened to it beep and thought "oh it's fine" and then it died. Tried it again and it wouldn't even turn on. It was dead alright! I of course put a fresh battery in and sure enough it worked great! I can't believe it. How crazy is that???? My poor child was being forced to wear this dead hearing aid. So instead of it helping him it completely sealed his ear and he probably couldn't hear anything. That is so embarrassing because I should have checked that first off instead of marching him to the doctor.

He has been wearing this thing how long now without problems??? Think MomMom!!!!

I wasn't going to tell anyone that it was just a battery after I called my nurse friend and husband and justified that it was an ear infection but I had to share it because it is actually amazing that it turned out to be the battery. For Collin's services with the ESD there are a ton of goals set every year to help close the gap of his hearing age and actual age. Last year one goal was that he would be able to leave his hearing aid in for most waking hours of the day and at that time the goal seemed completely unattainable. His new goal this year was for him to tell us when his aid wasn't working!!! I really thought that was too much, seeing as next years goal is for him to put it in himself. But he DID it. How cool is that? he was really trying to tell me that it wasn't working! No he didn't have the words to tell me but trust me he was sure letting me know! (I wish I could go and find all the people that passed me in the jogger and tell them that he wasn't just having a fit)

I am so relieved and so proud of him and I am not even nervous about tomorrow now because it doesn't matter what happens. Our course of action is the same and our work is really paying off. So yes it is kind of silly that I drug him to the doctor and he was fine but the 'cool' factor of this milestone totally out ways the embarrassment!!!

Once again I learned another lesson on this parenting journey. I was so focussed on just getting him to keep the hearing aid on which is a minor detail, our goal with hard of hearing kids is for them to wear the aid so they can hear the the correct sounds and make the words, not just wear an aid for no reason. I didn't take the time to really listen to him try and tell me that he needed something else. How often does God need to get our attention and we are focussed on the details. I learned to listen this week and not just to my kids!

By the way this morning when we got up and he saw his hearing aid in the box, he pointed to it and pointed to his ear! He wanted it in! He wore it all day with out one fit. The cool part... he did get mad, he did get strong but we both brushed it off and I learned what he was made of!

Udderare!

2009-06-07T18:44:00.001-07:00

Well, what a weekend we had this weekend. I had finished a clinic and we had some extra money and we all needed some new clothes. Lucky kids... SHOPPING!!!!

First stop Double H western wear! What you say??? How does that help us get clothes. Well my treat was a new pair of spurs! I lost a very special pair that I had 'earned' from a boss that was also very special and I have not been able to find a pair since. Well Double H had a great pair and I love them.

Well onto Old Navy... the boys were doing great and as Chris was looking for stuff, I took the boys up to the children's wear and they both found vintage batman shirts that they HAD to wear right at that moment. (they couldn't pick the shirts that were 2 for $10, could they?). Then we rode the escalator a few times.

Well poor Collin could not understand why none of the mannequins didn't have shoes on. He kept pointing out to them that they had "tinky feet" (stinky) and "wee wuu" (Pee eww), only a few snickers from passer bys as I tried to distract him by the fake puppy.

Anyhow, off we went to find Dad and I found a super cute brown dress that I really liked and there were only two left and they were only $15!!! One size XXL and the one on the mannequin size XS. (Some of you may see where this is headed)

Well we tracked down someone who worked there to take the dress of the mannequin so I could try it on. It looked bigger than an XS right?.

Collin was standing there staring up it and as the employee started to take the arms off this (fake) women his eyes started to pop out of his head! I really think he thought she was real. Well then the next arm off and I thought he was going to cry. The cute brown dress was a halter dress and had to be slipped off her head. She casually made a comment of no peeking but tooooooo late. Collin was so upset that this poor women had no udderare (translates underwear) that I grabbed the dress from the women and took off to the dressing room as to not deal with the very loud child confused about the lady with no udderare! I happened to notice some laughing and pointing and thought to myself that I seemed very alone, as I slowly turned around to see what the commotion was, (and deep down I knew it wasn't going to be good) I saw much to my dismay, Collin fondling the mannequin. Yes he was! Not just her leg or knee. NO, he was on his tip toes rubbing her behind!!!!! That not being bad enough Chris and Carson STOOD there laughing. I was soooo very embarrassed. I yelled at Chris to grab him and not let him do that (yes people are still laughing). Well I ended up grabbing him up and took of towards the change room.

Can't get worse right? While I was squeezing into this rather small dress I heard some chit chat from the girls that work there. I am not exaggerating... this was their conversation.

"I just heard the funniest thing, this kid kept telling all the mannequins that their feet stink and people were totally laughing at him"

next girl...

"Oh listen to this, I had to undress the mannequin and this little boy was rubbing it's rear end (OK, she said butt) and everyone was laughing at him and his mom was horrified."

I stood in the dressing room debating whether to pretend this dress fit or not. I made my decision and walked out as they were still chuckling about Collin and I shared with them that both those incidents were my son! They howled and said. "Oh we thought for sure they were different kids!"

"NOPE, same kid, different offense in a very, very short amount of time. This kid move fast!"

I guess my face was a bit red as I explained to Chris what happened, we soon left after that.

This child of ours sure keeps us on our toes. Yes I was pretty embarrassed, but as he lay sleeping on me later (we then went to see the 3D movie UP and he didn't make it) I thought to myself, how far he had come. Three months ago he only had about 50 words and most typical 3 year old's have almost 600. He knows how to say udderare! and knows where they belong. This is huge!!! I am so proud of him and all his words, even if they aren't used at the most appropriate timing!

By the way the dress didn't fit~

Yup, this is him... if this explains anything!!!!

Isn't every day Mothers day???

2009-05-12T20:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a very good few weeks. I am not sure why and I am not sure how come, but I have felt like the worst mom ever! I have been tired and cranky and kind of irritated at little things that usually never bug me. I can't say why other than I really miss my husband (big Daddy). It is hard having him gone all week. I tried for a very long time to pretend it is OK and that I was fine. If anything I would say "oh it is so hard on the boys..." but that was a lie. It is hard on me too. I just miss him, I miss him missing out on these moments of the boys riding, swimming lessons, going to 4-h and science club and all those other things that we do on a day to day basis.

I miss having him in the other room and hearing him laughing with the boys. I miss hearing him talk about super heros and actually believing that he is one. I miss him cooking dinner, haha. I miss hearing the shower start at 4 am (well that is pushing it, now I am going overboard) but you get what I am saying. I just miss him, mostly I miss justing hearing him breath at night when I am still awake praying for the weekend not to end.

Did I mention I was feeling like a bad mom??? Well this moment helped and luckily Chris didn't miss this moment. Collin loves to be read to while he is using the toilet and I was too busy making dinner (we were having company) and so I told Carson to just take him this book and maybe he will look at it himself. Well a few moments later I looked over and there was Carson reading to Collin. I gasped and ran to get the camera. I was so relieved (we had a weekend of a lot of the boys fighting) to see my sweet Carson reading to Collin just because. Well the cool thing was the camera died after only one picture (I know!!! How is that a good thing?) But I sat around the corner and just listened to their voices laughing at the story. I listened to Carson carefully sound out the words that he didn't recognize. And I watched with tears in my eyes as Collin gazed up at his big brother with such admiration and I cherished that moment of complete unconditional love.

So, it was Mothers day and I can say that I was a bit nervous. Last year on this exact weekend, Mothers day was not a day I ever wanted to repeat! Even though I ended up receiving the best gift ever I can't say that I would like to repeat that day over. This year however was different. Carson worked at school on a project to give me on Mothers day perfectly wrapped and ready for sunday morning. Poor Carson (just like his dad) just can't keep surprises or secrets. No sooner had I picked him up from school did he want me to open the present he made me. The card was the best!!! I know that his teacher had put a ton of words on the board to help the kids, but he picked all the words that described me perfectly!!! right on down to running and hugging!!! I just couldn't believe he knew that. Then on Sat. Chris worked with the boys to make me cards and they were in the office forever!!!! But it was worth it! Collin of course needed some help but Carson really got it. He knew how much I love horse and how much I love to run etc, etc, but bottom line he KNEW how much I LOVED him. Chris came out choked up and I didn't understand until Sunday when the three of them came and woke me up with their artwork. What a special moment!!!!

So did I mention that I felt like a bad mom!!! Well I did feel like a bad mom! But you know what??? My feelings aren't always accurate. I (just like all of you) am doing the best I can. I am growing and learning and trying my best to follow God's will for my life and right now that means LOVE my boys. I ADORE them. I ACHE with how much I care about them. Therefore, every day is Mothers day! I love hearing my name called over and over and over again! I love helping to open another granola bar. I love cleaning up toys. I love helping with math homework (so far, so good), I love learning sign language. I love bath time and wiping water from the ceiling. I love cleaning toilets after two boys with no aim! and I love every hug and smile for just being me. I love it. God has given me two mothers day gifts and every day is mothers day here!!!

out of the mouths of babes

2009-04-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

Carson 7 years old! Wow do I ever love him.

Well did I ever have a lesson in humility yesterday!!!

I can say now without getting all emotional and weepy or anything crazy, that we have had a very weird and difficult year. It is hard to say that though because even though it definitely has been difficult the rewards have been AMAZING! Rarely do people get to go through hard and difficult times and actually get to see the good things happening. Usually it is long after the trial that you can look back and say "Oh that is why we struggled, or Oh, God really did bless us then, etc." But I can honestly say that over this last year every time we faced some difficult time or situation, the next instant we were able to see God's work and something positive happen.

Well, our house if for sale and Big Daddy's job is on the road. So we want to be able to afford to travel with him if necessary (seriously how cool would that education be for the boys), we want to be able to afford to give to our favorite ministries and yet, you know, eat! Anyhow we want, we want.... Well I was telling this to a friend on the phone the other day while I was playing basketball with Carson (my very wise 7 year old) and he knows better than to interrupt me while I am on the phone but I am sure that he really knew that God was speaking through him. Anyhow, out of his mouth pops "well Mom, if you want that so bad why don't you pray to God about that tonight!" Are you kidding me!!!! I pray with this kid every night and we read his devotions and we go to church etc, etc. But I have to admit that I am not always sure if he is paying attention, I am not sure he is getting it! He sometimes seems oblivious. I want so bad for him to find his own relationship with God and have it not be because we forced him or he felt pressured. I know of too many kids that have felt that way. I was probably one of them and I can tell you that my Mom was really good about it, we had to go to church until we were twelve and then we had a choice (well maybe, haha, just teasing Mom)

Well what a lesson, I can honestly say that what Carson was saying was true. Once again I wanted, I wanted. I forgot to give it to God and want HIS will for me.

If we could only have that child like faith!!!!

Fritatta's

2009-04-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

You're probably wondering what the heck I have to say about frittatas that relates to family and my life right?? Well I have always wanted to learn how to make a frittata yet it seemed complicated and time consuming and hard to get that flavor just right for someone to say YUMMY! If you research them on the Internet you can get hundreds of recipes and tons of advice on how to make it the best. How do you know what to choose, how do you know which one is the best??? Too many decisions for me so I said "forget it" and then didn't think about it again for a long time.

Recently, at MOPS it was our tables turn to take breakfast. I had forgotten until the last minute and didn't have time to go to the store and get ingredients to make something spectacular (or even mediocre for that matter). I was on the phone with a friend who was running out of time too and together we had enough ingredients to pull something together. So at 9'clock at night my girlfriend and I were on the phone and frantically searching the Internet for ideas of what would be quick and easy to make. Well the recipes that came up for our ingredients was a frittata! Low and behold we had to make a frittata! During our phone call we had many laughs and jokes, but the phone call started out almost in tears because of things in life that are hard and complicated. However, it resulted in laughter and a feeling of relief because there was someone there to share with and someone who understands.

Anyhow, we did make the frittata and it really was easy, it tasted good and it wasn't complicated at all. Ok it never actually made it to MOPS but my husband ate the whole thing!

So, that was a few weeks ago and it has been nagging at me since then, because there was more to this frittata than just eggs and potatoes. I teased my friend that I was going to write about it as we have shared this little secret and we now we laugh about it almost every time we see each other.

Isn't a frittata like friendship??? It isn't complicated unless WE make it complicated, it IS easy unless we make it difficult. It takes all kinds of people and personalities to make friendships unique and a blessing. The more ingredients the better right? Friendship is really FUN just like how it was so fun to make this frittata with my friend and share this silly memory!

'rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15 Are you fortunate to have friends like that? I know that I have been given great friends in my life and even more since having Collin's issues come up. To have people in your life that share your joys and hurts and understand your thoughts is truly a blessing. God always seems to know what we need and when we need it. God has blessed me with friends that I have really rejoiced with and over the last few months there has been a few that have wept with me, I am so grateful for all the moments I have shared with my friends.

Anyhow, that is what I have learned about frittatas and friendship and because frittatas really are easy to make, I am going to master them and try as many recipes I can and not be apprehensive because of all the choices. The more choices, the more flavor right? Sometimes we are apprehensive about people and making new friends or we get worn out maintaining the flavor of some of our old ones. Even the easiest frittata takes some work and the more ingredients the more complicated they are. I know that sometimes I have been that complicated ingredient and I thank the Lord that my friends have continued to be there for me during those times. I pray that as I grow and become a better friend I can return the blessing!

So my fritatta sister, you thought we just made an egg dish, but you made me realize the value of the friendships that God has given me.

New Week

2009-03-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

Well it is another new week! Who knows what this week holds right? Last week was a mixed bag of all sorts of emotions. High and Low. There were many tears of joy and there were sad tears too. Especially today when we said good-bye to Chris as he headed up to Washington for a week of work. I am pretty sure that it will be just one week this time and if not at least I can load the boys up and hunt him down, seeing as he'll only be three hours away.

This weekend we got some bad news and we both would admit to feeling defeated and let down. We had to take turns being the strong one, as we each had moments of falling apart. Thankfully it worked out that way, instead of both of us freaking out, that would not have been pretty! Anyhow, last night I needed a moment to myself so I snuck into the office. I hadn't been in there very long when I heard the boys and Big Daddy wrestling and laughing, they weren't just giggling they were laughing that big, deep laughter that makes it hard to breathe. I found myself laughing out loud, and thought to myself (or maybe it was God) you really can find joy when you face various trials. It is a choice though, it isn't to say that life isn't hard sometimes or disappointing but the little joys of life are worth choosing and they are usually what help get you through those trials. Last night I just felt like being alone and I did have a bit of a cry but the noise of their continual laughter carried me out of the office and into the laughter and joy of being a family, (even Scooby the great dane was in on it) and for a moment the world seemed to stop and nothing else seemed to matter.

So yes choosing joy in various trials tests our faith and that produces patience (which I generally don't really enjoy) but if you keep reading it says "let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" James 1:2-4. Well that changes it all doesn't it? Lacking nothing!!!!??? Well, to that I say "bring the trials on"! Well maybe tomorrow.

Have a good week!

Red, green, Yellow and Blue!!!!

2009-03-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

I get teary just thinking about this... A few weeks ago during Collin's toddler group for his hearing therapy his wonderful teacher and her assistant started working on 'Colors'. I kind of had a meltdown (it was a private meltdown) realizing that Collin at almost three years old didn't know his colors. I know, no big deal, I have a good friend that is a Kindergarten teacher, she told me that there are kindergarten students that don't even know their colors! I almost cried when I told her "yah, but not my child" My oldest son Carson knew some of the harder ones like pink, purple and brown at three. I could not let Collin start pre-school without know at least the primary colors!!!!

Well six weeks later of hard work, Collin can SIGN, SAY and IDENTIFY the colors red, green, yellow and blue. Just today he learned orange too!!!! I know it seems a little over the top to "freak out' out over that but for those of you who have a child with hearing loss or some communication difficulty you can understand.

Collin had a home visit with his specialist Kelli yesterday and I was so excited for her to come, I told her when she walked in the door "you're going to cry today!!!" Well she was just as excited as I was!!! It was huge. So today we had Collin's toddler group again and as we were driving there he kept saying and signing geen (green), wooo, (blue) and he was talking about grass and the beautiful blue sky!!!! WOW!!!! I almost started crying, made me so proud of him. He works so hard for every word he has. Literally it took six weeks! The coolest part is that Chris was home and was there for all the moments and that doesn't usually happen.

Well perseverance pays off! It isn't something we like to deal with do we? It is hard, it causes us to cry and get mad and yet God whispers keep going, not by your strength but mine! And then it happens. Hang in there to all you who are parents, parenting is hard on its own let alone throw marriage, work and if you even want a social life in there! I know sometimes I feel like there is giant is laughing at me but I choose to listen to HIS voice of truth and knock that giant out.

Well I better go put those little guys to bed, dad is at a blazer game tonight. Yup, same dad that was gone for a month! I am teasing trust me he'll make up for it, hahahaha

A stranger in my bed!!!!

2009-03-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning when I heard little Collin yelling "Mom Mom" (that's what he calls me, I think he means Mama, but Mom Mom is way cuter), anyhow as I was getting out of bed to go get him and coax him back to sleep, when some man said "I'll go, you sleep". I slightly gasped and in a split second I had many scary thoughts pass through my mind. It took me a second to realize that it was actually my husband!!!! I almost forgot what he looked like! Then I did go back to sleep until after 9!!!!

It was a very special night last night when he called and said he was coming home. (It sounds like we were getting separated, when he was just out of working out of town for 30 days straight) Well last night after I got home from the Dave Ramsey FPU university class I rushed the kids to bed and should say fought with them, because I couldn't understand why it was taking so long to get PJ"s on and I was frustrated, I was so excited to wake them up and take them to the airport to go get dad.

Well at 9:50 I went out to start the car and warm it up for them so I turned the heat on full blast and went back in to brush my teeth and put my shoes on. Well it took me a few minutes and then I went out to let Scooby go pee one last time. When I opened the door to the garage I was overcome with fumes... in my excitement I started the car with out opening the garage door so for about 10 minutes the car was running in a locked garage. Sometimes I really need to slow down and think. I opened the door to let it air out and waited another five minutes to wake the boys. I was shaking at this point because I was so excited.

So I go get Carson and it took forever to wake him, I had to carry my very tall 7 year old and put him in the car. Then I couldn't get his seatbelt on because I was trying to tell him arms up and for about ten tries every time I said up, his would go down and vice versa. It was so funny. Well Collin never even woke up.

We made it to the airport in record time and there was a huge line at the arrivals. So we waited. At one point Chris and I were talking on our phones and I could see him in the window and it felt like we were so close yet separated but an force that wouldn't let us be together, (it was about 15 SUV's) Anyhow, he got his luggage and came out and literally jumped in the car. It was kind of melodramatic. I had visions of waiting outside on the side walk and replaying the bachelor when Melissa would run and wrap her legs around Jason. I guess it better the way it happened I don't think I would have had that same effect.

Anyhow, it was awesome. It did feel a little awkward, like we were on our first date trying to think about what to talk about. I was nervous, so he got to hear all about Dave Ramsey and insurance scams. Carson and I fought over who got to talk more and Chris just sat there bouncing between the two of us. Ben Ten, Dave Ramsey what choices!

So now it is the next day and the boys won't leave his side, hence why I am reliving the moment by myself and my computer. But it is ok, I love that they love their dad so much. You know, how they say there is something special between little girls and their dads. I know that is true because there is something special between me and my dad and my stepdad, but there is an indescribable bond between these three guys that I don't think I will ever understand!

Life is Good...

Beginner Blogger

2009-03-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to admit I never thought I would be here doing this. I love looking at my friends blogs but never thought I would do it. To be totally honest I don't even truly understand what a BLOG is??? Really what does that word mean? I admit I am not a scrapbooker, I have a hard time recording our family memories and I have a gazillion pictures on my computer that are in no particular order. I have started so many journals and tried to document my life lessons over the past seven years only to throw them out a year later. So I badly want to record our family memories and growth and challenges so maybe this blogging is what will work for me. Even if I am the only one to ever read this that is OK with me.

Anyhow, My husband (His name is Chris but let's call him big daddy or something for fun he won't know), and I have the best two boys in the whole world! I know, I know, next to your best boys! Carson is turning 7 in a couple weeks and Collin is turning three. I never really thought I would get married let alone have kids but it is amazing how God has different plans for your life than you do.

Well let me share about Carson. He was born on March 29, 2002 and it was Good Friday of Easter weekend. It really was a 'good' day, we took him home on Easter morning and it was just very special. He completely changed my whole perspective of life. He was a blessing and a joy from the very moment he was born. He didn't cry much, was always content and so sweet and sensitive yet loves tractors, trucks and all things boy! He still is very sweet and gives me lots of hugs all the time and tells us how much he loves us. He loves school and all his friends and right now he wants so badly to read 'chapter books', it is so cute. He is very tall and I think he is going to make the best husband one day. I have to admit it was because Carson was so cool that I really wanted another baby.

Which leads us right into Collin. Collin was born March 27, 2006 and he too was one of the cutest babies I had ever seen. We felt there was something special about him from that first moment in the hospital but couldn't put our finger on it and didn't find out until he was about 8 months old what that was. Collin was a super easy baby too, never cried. Always happy and very alert. He seems to just love waking up in the morning! When Collin was first born he didn't pass the hearing screening test but no one seemed too worried. However, by the time he was six months old the doctors felt he needed to be tested extensively. At 8 months old we found out that he had a pretty significant hearing loss. Which doesn't sound like a big deal to some people but the more I found out and learned the more I realized the challenges that our whole family faced.

I think that there were times, for both Chris and I, of denial and disbelief. But as time went on and as we became immersed in Early intervention, and therapy we learned and are learning all the statistics, difficulties and joys and that a child with hearing loss goes through. It has been a joy and so rewarding to watch his progress through the last two years and so exciting to think about our new future. There have been times of discouragement and tears, partly because of the unknown, dealing with this special need, and partly because the more you learn the more you see what is to come and mostly because none of us parents want 'anything' wrong with our kids. I do apologize to that one guy told me "it could be worse... (list of various diseases)". I had heard that one too many times. I had just returned from the ESD and learned a bunch of new sad information and he happened to be informed that only 17 % of moms learn how to sign and only 3% of dads do and do you know what that can do to a child....? I am sure he was sorry for trying to make me feel better. I think before having kids I was a bit judgmental and said a lot of "I would never..." and "if only..." I sure am trying to not judge or compare myself and our parenting to anyone one else, because until you have walked a day in someone else's life we will never know.

Ok, small side note there. See that is just one of the parenting lessons I have learned along this journey. Anyhow, partly because of Collin is why I want to document our life as a family. Like I said before Carson totally changed my perspective, and truly taught me to love unconditionally and now having a child with special needs is even more life changing. I want to see our growth, our memories, our hurts and strengths as a family. My only wish is that I started writing all my lessons down earlier so I don't have to back track and try to remember.

Well that is the beginning of my story! Let's see what happens!